partner

I'm a guy, so how come I don't enjoy intercourse?

John asks:

My girlfriend and I care about each other very much. recently we had decided to become sexually active. She has had previous partners though she was my first. She says that I satisfy her, though I have honestly told her she does not satisfy me. I told her it doesnt matter but she is very upset and I am myself bewildered. How can I not enjoy intercourse? Especially considering its a new and exciting experience?

We just can't seem to play it safe.

Joe asks:

I found this website and I thought it was pretty open in its answers. I have been searching a lot for answers to my questions and most seem biased to individual opinions or not very clear at all. I am posting here because I feel I can find an objective and intelligent answer after reading a few Q's a A's.

First of all I am a 24 year old male. I have a gorgeous girlfriend I love dearly and is obviously the reason I need questions answered. We have been sexually active for a year but we have had a lot of issues involving safe sex. We have a lot of chemistry between us and we find it very hard to resist our sexuality. That doesn't mean we don't use protection, we use condoms a lot but not completely and thats where stress sets in. Most of the time we have around 1 to 2 minutes of unprotected sex before putting on a condom. I don't let myself get near to ejaculation we just enjoy it a bit then put a condom to finish the job. I have read a lot about this and have knowledge of pre-ejaculation fluid possibly containing sperm if ejaculation has occurred beforehand. I always take a shower, pee and make sure we haven't had sex up to one day before we do anything. We also never have sex again after I have ejaculated. Also, I avoid doing this or anything at all when she's ovulating. So if the claims are true, following this means these short 1 to 2 minutes of unprotected sex before the condom are relatively safe, or so I believe since we have been doing it for a year now. I know that doesn't mean it works maybe we have been lucky. That's where I need an answer. Is what we are doing OK?

We plan on eventually marrying and having a family but we are not ready yet. She hasn't graduated yet from college. I am about to graduate but currently I am unemployed. This has produced so much stress on me to the point that I have started to lose hair. Every single month when she's about the have her period I get worried thinking if it will arrive. Maybe I am getting overly worried but having a family at the right time means a lot to me and to her as well. Not to mention her parents have a good image of me. I wouldn't want to disappoint them. I also don't want to have her go through and unwanted pregnancy before she achieves everything she wants to do. We have a lot of plans and don't want to let them go to waste.

We have been thinking on getting the pill just so we can relax a bit. Recently she visited her gynecologist but she was denied the pill. She is now looking for another gyno and I am still losing my hair. We only want to do things right but we find it to be very hard. We have tried but the circumstances always promote the behavior. We have even promised to help each other but to no avail. If you have any suggestions that would help us it would be greatly appreciated.

We waited for marriage... but it wasn't worth the wait.

Anonymous asks:

I am 28 years old and got married four months ago. Both my husband (29 years old) and I were not virgins before marriage and had both been with two other people before we started dating each other. We made the mutual decision to abstain from intercourse until marriage for religious reasons and to be "right with God" this go around. We dated for two years by the date of our wedding. During that time we would engage in foreplay, oral sex and we enjoyed that. I always wanted to fool around more than him and I made that known while we were dating, but he would always say that it was too difficult to get that worked up and have to stop. I had to agree, so I learned to become patient.

As the relationship went on and we got engaged a year and a half in, during our six month engagement we started having less and less foreplay. As our wedding day approached I became increasingly more excited about FINALLY being able to have guilt free, passionate, fun sex. I would say things like, "I can't wait!" and "how often do you think we'll have sex?" and "We will be able to have sex anywhere in the house and anytime we want" etc. I intentionally said this to express how excited I was about having sex finally. He would respond that he was looking forward to it too but that he didn't know how often we would because he couldn't make statements about part of our relationship that didn't exist yet. He would even get uncomfortable when I would talk about orgasms, something that I've only had real success with achieving with the aid of a vibrator. So the wedding night came and there was no passion, no romance, no "making love" just sex. I thought as least he would take me out of my beautiful dress, NO he just stripped and hoped into the shower, then wanted to have sex in the shower for the first time, Not my vision of my wedding night I'd waited for for two years. The honeymoon was the same. When we do have sex it lasts about 5 min. We've never had spontaneous sex or morning sex or after a fight sex.

He says now he's just not that sexual of a person and I feel betrayed and let down that he didn't express this before we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. He has trouble getting and sometimes keeping an erection and I become frustrated when he turns me down for sex. I've heard of girls not being interested in sex, but never a guy. He just is not into spontaneous, passionate, fun, sex. I'm not even sure he knows the difference. I have had great sex in the past, the kind I can't wait for, but with my husband, it's not exciting and he doesn't even get turned on my sexy lingerie. He is not interested in going to the doctor to take something for his occasional impotence. At best we have sex once a week. I was expecting that "newlywed sex" like rabbits that everyone seems to talk about, is that just a myth? Please help!

If I'm short, is my vagina short, too?

Anonymous asks:

I am 16 and about 4 foot 11 inches. I am relatively short and scared that my boyfriend's penis won't enter completely because of the length of my vagina. Does my height affect my vagina's length?

Shaving woes

Ashley asks:

Well I've been thinking about having sex with my bf, but like I shave and get red bumps. I've tried baby powder and even going slower, do you have any other things I could do to stop the bumps? My hair also grows back super fast, and most other girls dont have to worry about that. It really frutrates me. Please help!!!

I thought I'd wait until marriage, but I've changed my mind.

Anonymous asks:

I am 21 years old and am a virgin. I am currently single, but I had a boyfriend in high school and part of college and we never actually had sex, but did everything leading up to it. A part of me always felt like I wasn't ready to be having sex with him even though I was attracted to him. Maybe it was because I was so young then. I always thought I would wait until marriage to have sex, but I also always thought I would be getting married quite early in my life (around 22 or 23). Now I have realized that I have no desire to get married that early, but I don't want to wait until I am in my upper 20's to experience sex. I recently met a guy who I get along with quite well. We are able to communicate very easily and I also find him attractive. He is from another country and is quite experienced sexually, and we have talked about this before and about how I am a virgin. I have been having thoughts about losing my virginity to him if something were to happen between us. Right now we are friends, and not in any sort of relationship, but that doesn't bother me. I am not wanting a boyfriend right now. My question is whether losing my virginity to him (if the opportunity arose) would be a bad idea? I feel as though I could trust him with that part of myself and I feel like I would be okay with us remaining friends afterward. I have not mentioned any of this to him, as 1) I am not sure how to go about it and 2) I don't know if he is even thinking anything like this. Any thoughts, help would be appreciated!

Raised to think sex was dirty and it's left me feeling inhuman and insecure

Anonymous asks:

As a catholic, I was raised believing sex was dirty. My family never spoke about sex and so I am completely naive to everything. And despite the sex-ed classes I had in school, everything is still so abstract to me. I never even really had the desire to have sex or to explore my sexuality. It was all just taboo in my mind. I am now 24 and a virgin and have been with my boyfriend for a while now. And as our relationship progresses, we want to become more intimate. We have tried to have sex a few times but it hasn't worked. I know it is my fault because he is not a virgin. I have wanted to do it with him but I get scared and he doesn't force it. Because of my negative sexual upbringing, I feel very uncomfortable talking about sex so I have avoided discussing it with him. My friends tell me sex is perfectly natural, but in the back of my mind, I still think that I am committing a sin by having sex or by doing anything sexual. Is there any way to alleviate these feelings of inadequacy and fear? Most people, despite their up-bringing, do find it normal to have sex at one time or another. They learn about sexuality. And I am still completely naive to everything. I feel like unhuman or something.

Unprotected anal sex, pregnancy risks, and self-abortion

Morgan asks:

Hi, I really need some help. Let me tell you what has happened. I'm 15 years old. My periods usually come anywhere from the 12th-to the 15th of the month. One night, I had anal sex, unprotected, but I didn't orgasm. When I had anal sex, it was two weeks after my period had ended. The next month, last month, My period came on the 19th. Is that normal? Is it just because I had sex? Could I be pregnant? Please help. If you think I might be pregnant, could you give me some self-abort advice, I can NOT tell my mother, and I have no way of getting a pregnancy test. Please please help me.

One positive test, one negative test: am I pregnant or not?

anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I had sex without a condom 2 times and when he cummed in me the first time I thought I was pregnant and I took a test and it said positive and I took another one of a different brand and it said negative so I didn't worry about it the second time he cummed in me I got my period the next day could I be pregnant now?