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To have sex or not to have sex: that's the question.

Eoin asks:

I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.

I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.

First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):

Can I just use EC instead of other birth control?

LizzyUK2002 asks:

I am going to have sex with my boyfriend soon, but I am really scared about getting pregnant. We are going to use a condom but I'm paranoid that I'm going to get pregnant. I could go on the pill but my mum wont let me.. so I'm going to ask my friend's mum, also. If I could get the morning after pill and take it just in case it won't harm me will it?

Am I pregnant? (And, why feeling you have to lie and go without protection isn't okay.)

Anonymous asks:

I had sex a few days after my period and I made sure it was over. I lied to my boyfriend bout it so that I had time to make sure it was clean. 3 weeks later I had my period. My periods are usually irregular so I figured it's okay. But I'm still so so worried. Please help! Could I be pregnant? I haven't been feeling anything at all and I've only done it once, just that night. No sperm came out either.

Can't orgasm because of antidepressants?

shinyverse893 asks:

My boyfriend and I are both sophomores in high school. We've been together for two years, and it's a first relationship for both of us. We've decided to wait to have actual sex until we're out of high school, but we are sexually active (as in generally being sexually intimate, including oral sex, basically everything but the actual act). My problem is, no matter how intense whatever we're doing gets, he can't come. We didn't think it was a problem, but now he's at the point where he feels like he should... just can't. Since this is a first relationship, we both have no prior experience and are really at a loss as what to do. He's really shy and won't talk to his doctor about it, so I decided to ask here. He's on Zoloft (depression meds) so we're wondering if that might have something to do with it. He's been able to a couple times that we know of in his sleep, but other than that it isn't working. He's incredibly worried that there's something wrong with him. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you!

I come way too soon and I just can't deal!

Chris asks:

This question is about Premature Ejaculation, nowhere on the internet will give me any free advice or help so I really appreciate some real advice on thus one. I'm 20 years old and I have a girlfriend.

We been having sex a lot, when I get to see her, (she lives in another city in the time being but when I do see her), the tension is high in our sexual urges and have a lot of it. I have a very confused penis as it would last normally (let's say 10 minutes) but then more often it goes out of control and I ejaculate to soon.

She is very supportive and tries to go slow or is patient when I have to stop every 5 seconds. But come on, this isn't sex. I'm fighting a battle every time. I try to relax and use different condoms for sensitivity but I still get the same end result PE! I do know I have a high sex drive ( I love the idea of sex a lot) she is hot and the fact she wants it all the time is hot too but I find sometimes it makes me a bit nervous because of my problem.

I know in my past I do get stressed, sometimes I don't sleep regularly, or get the proper exercise as needed, and I got a lot on my mind but I know others like that and they don't have PE or at least tell me that. When I was with her I wasn't stressed or anything and I still get it. Can you please help me.

I want it, she doesn't.

easywurie asks:

How will I be able to make love to my girlfriend, because we have talked about it but she didn't agree.
What should I do?

Lubricant (not diamonds) is a girl's best friend.

Meg asks:

Every once in a while I will have a problem staying wet when I'm having sex with my boyfriend. I'll start out wet, but then will dry up and we will have to stop because the condom will break or it becomes painful for him? Is this normal? What can I do? Please help, I love him so much and I definitely love having sex with him, but I don't know what's going on? Thanks!

Can sexual activity alter your period?

Anonymous asks:

Since becoming sexually active, I feel like my menstrual flow has changed and that my cramps have been worse. Before, I hardly had any cramps but now I really feel pain during the first day of my period.

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

Open, honest communication with your partners is key to healthy, beneficial and satisfying sexual experiences. Need some help learning how to make it happen and keep it flowing?

Why does he just walk away when he reaches orgasm, leaving me in the lurch?

annoyed asks:

Why do guys get so tired and uninterested after they orgasm? Just because his penis isn't hard anymore doesn't mean he has to stop! I would totally keep doing other things focused on other parts of the body until he's ready again, and I wouldn't mind continuing to be stimulated with his hands or something, but he doesn't seem interested. He just lays there and if I try to do anything else he gets up immediately to clean up and put his clothes back on. Why?

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