Skip to main content


He likes it rough and I want it gentle: are we hopeless?

Minny asks:

I'm 21 and I have recently started going out with by first proper adult boyfriend - though I'd had sex a few times before, it had never been in a relationship that lasted very long or got very serious. I have really enjoyed getting close to my boyfriend and have looked forward to having a developed sexual relationship. However, as we began to have sex more often, it wasn't slow and careful like it was in the beginning and he started have sex with me in a way that I would consider 'fucking' rather than 'making love'. It's 'fast and hard', as they say. I know that makes me sound very passive, as if I don't contribute to how things happen - which I do if I choose to - but he seems to like it like that and I don't want to completely dominate how we have sex by saying that it must always be slow and gentle. He also has said that he finds it difficult to stay hard if he goes slowly.

For me, there seems to be a contradiction between how affectionate and caring he is with me usually (which he always is) and the way that he has sex with me. He enjoys and takes time over making me orgasm and is very loving. I asked him whether he saw that contradiction between that and the fucking and he said only that as long as it's in a loving relationship, couples can be rough with each other during sex and that it was normal.

He says he doesn't like condoms, so should we use withdrawal instead?

Anonymous asks:

I am a 15 (almost 16) year old virgin. My boyfriend and I are thinking about having sex. We love each other, we are both mature and know everything, and we both ARE ready. He isn't a virgin, he had sex once before. While having a discussion on the phone he mentioned to me about this round-a-bout and that he doesn't like using condoms. I am completely 100% for condoms and would never risk myself getting pregnant or getting something (even though I know he doesn't have anything). But he insists that he barely pre-cums and when he does "finish" he knows beforehand. I know guys just say that. I've thought about it and maybe after were used to intercourse I'll think about the pull out method. But ONLY if we use another type of protection.

What do you think about the pull out method? For the other question I have, what is safer to use, in a girl's point of view? Morning after pill? The Ring? Birth control? How can I get my hands on a Morning after pill? Thanks ever so much.

P.S. your site rocks =]

Two women, two partners, and four folks frustrated with intercourse.

frustrated asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and have been sexually active for some time. Usually we have pretty good sex. But lately I've just been getting upset because I can never orgasm through intercourse. I know that's normal for girls but when I ask him to do other things, he usually doesn't want to. I almost always orgasm when he eats me out but he hardly ever does that and if he does it's never long enough. He wants to just move into having sex. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore for me and sex is just a way to get him off and then we're done. But I want to feel pleasure too. I already love him and love being with him sexually but is there a way we can try to make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse? Or is there a way I can make it more comfortable for him to eat me out?

Does a woman do anything on top?

stupid asks:

If the girl is on the top while having sex, does she do anything or does he do the work?

How can vaginas not vary much in size, for real?

Anonymous asks:

I was reading posts and noticed that a lot of them said how sex should be easy if the girl is turned on and relaxed. I have a smaller build and perceive it to be proportional in "all areas". I'm 19. I really enjoy sex and I have been sexually active for two years. However, I have found that no matter how much foreplay my boyfriend and I engage in, sex is difficult to start with and I feel sore during the end and afterwards. My boyfriend has also noticed a large difference in "tightness" between myself and other girls he has been with. We always use a good amount of lubrication and I do feel really relaxed and aroused with him. I don't understand how a guy can have a larger or smaller penis, but yet everything I have read on your site says that women have little to no variation in size. Does this mean that I'm generally the same size as the girls he's been with and that there is something else wrong with me?

Can my boyfriend catch HPV from me through oral sex?

Maricela asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time, and I just found out that I have HPV. I told my boyfriend that I had it as soon as I found out and now he is acting really weird. Now, he doesn't want to give me oral because he is afraid that he may get it. I went to the doctor and asked if he could get it, and she said that as long as we are careful he shouldn't have anything to worry about. When I told him the news he did not believe me! He still will not give me oral even though it has been a couple of months. I am really frustrated!

Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown

Throw a rock at any sex education site or service, ask what the most common question we get is from men and we'll all tell you that it's about penis size. We don't imagine with this piece we'll never get asked again, but we're hoping these answers get you guys better filled in so you can feel good about yourselves, your penises and whatever you do (or don't) do with them.

How can I make my orgasms last longer?

Sally asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been having sex along with oral sex for a while now. I find it most pleasurable during oral sex when he uses his tongue on my clitoris. Is there any way in which I can make the orgasm last longer?

Negative pregnancy tests, but where's my period?

tiinks asks:

I haven't had my period for two months now (the last time I had my period was March 16). My b.f. and I fooled around but nothing happened, if you know what I mean. I then took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came out negative. At the end of April, I went to the pediatrician and they did a pregnancy test too (I don't know if they did it by blood or by urine). All the tests came out negative, but my period hasn't come yet and I just want to know what it could possibly be! I feel like I'm going to get my period, yet it just wont come. PLEASE HELP!

Depression has sapped my libido: will it ruin my relationship?

Emma asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over two and a half years. We used to have sex a lot (meaning a couple times a week and seeing as we could only see each other on the weekends, that wasn't too shabby). However, I've been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety problems that have been making it hard for me to feel like having sex. This has been going on for a couple months and in that time we've had sex twice. I miss being with him and I know he misses it too. I don't want this to tear us apart. He's been there for me through all of these mental health problems and is definitely there for me during this rough sexual patch but I want that old spark back. What should I do?

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.