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To Slide or to Slice? Finding a Positive Sexual Metaphor

In American society we often grow up with baseball as THE metaphor to describe sex. Let’s deconstruct the baseball model, uncover its many flaws, and take a look at an alternative which is a whole lot better, even if it might make you a little hungry.

I want to save sex for later in relationships, but I can't do that... can I?

Miss Anonymous asks:

I am worried about sex, and I don't think its normal at my age (24) but I don't know what to do about it. I was raised in a really strict family and so I didn't lose my virginity til I was 21 which was really way later than everyone else, even my younger sister. I wasn't really ready but I was sort of curious and I did it to please my boyfriend and lots of other reasons. We dated for about a year and I had sex with two more guys after I split up with him but mainly from feeling like I should to fit in. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in ages now, and I'm afraid to have another relationship cos I think it will surely involve sex. I know in theory you can say no, but hey, what guy is going to stick around with me when he can get it from any other girl on the street? It doesn't seem realistic. When I think about sex I just get scared, cos I feel like I don't know at all what to do, and its not like I was even an adventurous teenager so I can't give head or anything either. I really don't know how to do anything except kiss. But I'm sure most guys are expecting way more than that! I don't want to become a slut just to learn but I can't claim to be a virgin any more so I don't know what to do. In my ideal world I'd like to be with a guy for at least a year before sleeping together, maybe wait til marriage, but I am scared to even admit that's what I want cos I know its not normal. Please help! I'm worried that being so messed up about this will mean no decent guy will want to be with me.

The luck (or not) of the draw

lisasucks asks:

I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 28. We've been having sex for a year now and we have not been very careful at all. We never use condoms! It's weird though cause I have not gotten pregnant. He usually doesn't ejaculate in me LOL but still. . . . I always joke and tell him he's sterile but now I'm really thinking he is. Since I haven't gotten pregnant does this mean there is something wrong with my boyfriend or me? Or does it just mean I'm lucky?

How does love influence your experiences with sex?

Why can't I orgasm?

jms91 asks:

It's really difficult for me to orgasm. As a female, I know it's a lot to expect to orgasm from intercourse, but it seems like everyone at least does from oral. But I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has yet to ever make me orgasm - even through oral sex. Why can't I orgasm?

How do I learn to trust him?

anofficialknight asks:

If you have been raped by more than one person but as a result you never stay with a male in fear of becoming close to them and then you find a guy that you really like and you want to trust him but you just can't ... what should I do to make us a trusting couple?

Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry

From both our personal experiences of our own varied sex lives, and in our work in sexuality with many other people, it seems pretty clear that really letting someone into an internal space in your body, or going into someone else's insides -- which we know might sound a little gross, but that is what's going on with this stuff -- is a fairly big deal for many people. So, what might make sexual entry different from other sexual activities?

Sex and some change

Anonymous asks:

Me and my boyfriend plain to marry after school. I really love him and I really want him the same way he wants me, but I am scared about if we have sex then he leaves me. I don't want to lose him.