panic

The Cutting Room Floor: On Sexting

With everyone talking about it so much lately, thought I'd reprise the topic with some questions Tracy Clark-Flory of Salon.com asked me about sexting a few months ago, and the whole of my answers. To see her finished piece, you can meander over here.

Q: Where does "sexting" -- or for that matter, taking nude self- portraits or videos that they may or may not share with a significant other, friends or a crush -- fall within teenage sexual development?

I'd lump television in with the 'net and other new media when I say that with the media presence being what it has become, the need or desire to seen -- already a typical part of young adult development as well as human existence -- has become huge. And that's not just about sex, but because sexual development and exploration is also a big part of being a teen, as well as a part of life, period, and something that's still treated as provocative, particularly when in any way public, sex enters into this.

You're asking about teens using t...

Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul

What are the early symptoms of pregnancy and when do they start to happen? Why are symptoms not the smartest way to tell if you're pregnant, and how CAN you tell if you are? If you're losing your mind during a pregnancy scare, and finding symptoms everywhere you look, here's some on-target information and a dose of comfort to help you separate the real deal from the hype.

Give'em Some Lip: Labia That Clearly Ain't Minor

Freaking out because you think something must be wrong with your labia? Think again!

He pulled out, but now I'm late

Candy asks:

Hey, I had my last period on the 8th of April. My boyfriend and I had sex on the April 21st, but he pulled out before he came. Now, I'm 2 days late for my period! I am freaking out big time, could I be pregnant? I checked the net for all the early pregnancy symptoms but none of them apply to me. I've noticed that the past week I've not had a lot of the usual discharge, but on the day my period was due I did have a lot of white discharge and the next day as well. Please reassure me! When should I really panic?

Can my older-guy best friend get in trouble for holding my hand?

Sam asks:

I'm 16 and my best friend, that happens to be a guy, is 25. We've never done anything sexual, and we don't plan to. The most we do is hold hands, and its like holding hands with my older brother. I'm just scared that someone will take that in the wrong way (as if we were dating) and my friends have told me that he could go to jail if someone reports him as my boyfriend or saying that something sexual is going on between us. I don't want him to get in trouble but I also don't want to lose my video game buddy.

I know about the age of consent, but does that mean I can't even hold hands in a public place with my best friend?

Anal sex panic, and some good reasons to step the heck back.

Anonymous asks:

Hi it's me again, I asked you a couple weeks ago about anal seepage after anal sex. Well we DID engaged in full anal foreplay before anal sex, was very patient about it, I relaxed my muscles the whole time, and used TONS of lube. So we tried it again like that and I still had white/clear mucus seepage come out, but it was worse this time there was more blood. AND I looked at my butt hole to see what was wrong and if I push like I'm gonna take a poo it looks like I could poop out my intestines or whatever is in there! I'm VERY scared I dont know whats wrong with me, I always thought there was no harm in anal sex, now I could have harmed myself for life. We did everything right and I'm very terrified so the quickest you could get back on this would be WONDERFUL.

A Calm View from the Eye of the Storm: Hysteria, Youth and Sexuality

When we look in the mirror as a culture, our tendency toward hysteria always seems to hover in our communal blind spot. We’re not very good at seeing when groups with a political or social agenda are manipulating us with fear, often the unreasonable, irrational fear of the taboo.