normal

Putting the brakes on sex: How do I slow things down?

sofi52108 asks:

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year now and I have been very sexually active with him but now I want to slow things down and wait until I'm ready for marriage. I want to start everything over and just be a normal teenager. He doesn't seem to have any problems with this and I talked to him about it already, but I feel like there are problems. Our relationship is actually getting better but now he is more horny around me all the time and it tempts me but I don't want to give in. I want to have sex too even more now that I told myself I can't. Are there any methods I can use to calm myself from sex or just things I can say to my boyfriend to tell him to realize I'm not comfortable with him being horny and it really bothers me?

Is something wrong with me because I like BDSM? Can I like it and still be a feminist?

alice42 asks:

For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on my imagining my own pain and humiliation. I am going out with someone for the first time now, and we've been together for almost eight months. Recently we've started experimenting with very mild SM-type things--tying each other up, biting, spanking. I love it, and so does he. But is this normal? Should I be worried that this turns me on more than anything else we've done together? Is there something wrong with me? (I've never been abused). And can I still be a feminist if I get off on being dominated by men?

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I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm......not.

Dave asks:

Basically, my problem is that I cannot seem to cum during oral sex or intercourse. If she uses her hand then I reach orgasm within an acceptable space of time. However, when having sex or receiving oral sex, the feelings build up but never quite reach the point of orgasm. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do?

I don't want to masturbate or have sex: what's wrong with me?

Anonymous asks:

I am celibate and a virgin. I don't masturbate. I think all forms of sexual activity are ok as long as people say safe and respectful, and this includes masturbation. I was never abused. I was brought up in a very open environment, where my parents never shied away from answering any kind of question about sex and answered very honestly and frankly, and never said anything was "sinful" or "shameful." And when they couldn't answer, both me and my siblings were pointed in the direction of good resources. There are plenty of things that "turn me on." I fantasize if I'm very horny but I wouldn't call that masturbation, and it's never that "graphic" in my head, it just "gets me off." I don't like watching others have sex either, like on tv or movies - I enjoy seeing people kiss or dance much more and think that is actually way more erotic!

MY QUESTION IS THIS: is there something wrong with me?

What are these bumps on my penis?

crimsonballer asks:

Hi I have had these small (2mm or less) bumps on my penis for a long time (at least 4 years) they are white or mainly the color of my skin, and go about half the way up my penis. They are much more visible when my penis is erect, and it seems like after a while hair sprouts out of these bumps. I have been doing some internet research and think they are Fordyce's spots. They don't hurt or itch or anything, it just embarrasses me. I would like to get rid of them, but talking about that with my parents would be hard. Before this year I had been masturbating with Vaseline, but this year I stopped using the Vaseline, and the appearance of these bumps seemed to be reduced, but they aren't gone totally. Please help!

Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Ready But Waiting asks:

I am a 19 year old female. And a virgin. The thing is I feel ready to experience sexual intercourse. Not only that, I feel it is a "stepping stone" that will allow me to "grow-up". All of my friends at this point have lost their virginity, including my 16 year old cousin! I feel left behind almost as if they've grown in some grand way that I have yet to experience. It's like everyone else getting their license and you're still riding your bike to school. I have another dilemma that rebukes this problem as well - I'm waiting for the "right guy" to `come along. But the trouble with that is, I don't know who "Mr.Right" is! Sure I've dated and such but they never seem right for me. Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

He's 15, and we've tried everything, so why can't he get it up and get off?

Cheybaby asks:

My boy friend is 15, has never had an erection and every time we want to have sex we can't. He thought it might be a medical problem but he asked the doctor and said no medical problem here. We have tried everything. The first thing we tried was dry humping and nothing happened and then I tried grinding him they say that can be very arousing but it didn't work. I let him look at porn and nothing happened. More suggestions?

I don't want to give a guy oral sex...but maybe I do?

Down Under asks:

I come here quite often to browse and get information I need, and now I need some advice.

Since I was 13 and started dating and getting more intimate I decided I didn't want to go down on a guy. I had quite a few reasons for it and on top of it I just found it abnormal. Well now I'm 15 and have been in a relationship for quite some time now. Me and my boyfriend talk about sex openly, what each of us are ready and not ready for, and this really does work. He knows my stand point on the no going down thing, though he has done that for me. I know he doesn't expect it back, but he does say that he really wants to. And I find myself compelled to at some points. Does this mean I'm a hypocrite, turning my back on what I've believed? Every time we bring it up I always tell him I'm paranoid, I have researched what you can get from doing something like that. I just don't know, can you help me?

Is it normal for girls to experiment with sex together when they're not lesbian?

Sam asks:

A couple of years ago I was over at my best friends house and we were in her living room ready to go to sleep and we were just talking and she asked me if I masturbate and I told her I did and then she started to rub her clitoris and then she started to rub mine. After that she asked me if I had ever kissed a girl and I said no then we started to make out and stuff. I know I'm not a lesbian but what we did was a lot of fun, is this normal for girls to do this sort of stuff together?

Differences in labial appearance and sensitivity: is something wrong?

C asks:

I am an 18 year old virgin, and I have been reading about labia on your website. I realize labia come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and colors, and many other girls have posted similar concerns. My labia minora are very asymmetrical (I know, normal) and different colors (I know, also normal). The one thing that concerns me is that the left side, the much larger side, is not sensitive, in fact, I can hardly feel anything towards the end of it. It protrudes beyond my labia majora, and I don't remember it always being that way. I think it became this way when I was thirteen, and then, it was very sensitive and would hurt if I wore my jeans to tight. Is this lack of sensitivity normal? Is there any way to regain sensitivity? near the base, where it is still more protected, it is still highly sensitive. My boyfriend of 8 months and I have recently begun to explore new physical territory, and he thinks I'm beautiful, but it's hard to enjoy the closeness if I'm self conscious about my body. Do you think I should see a gynecologist?

She's 21 but not ready for sex: is that normal?

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend is 21 and I am 20. I am so eager to have sex but she tells me she is not ready. At 21 is this normal?

She's a tomboy, so she likes girls, right?

Elaizha asks:

My friend Chanel is a tomboy but isn't sure she likes girls because she isn't sure of herself what should I tell her or what should I do to make her come out her shell?

I don't think this is normal, can I just cut my labia off?

Anonymous asks:

I'm a 17-year old virgin and something has been bothering me ever since I was 13-years old. My labia are huge...and the thing that is bothering me the most, is that I have three labia! The third one is connected to one, I don't really know how to explain it, but I really hate it. I have never told anyone because I'm very embarrassed about it. I'm too shy to even tell a doctor, I won't let anyone look at my vagina. I am wondering if its ok/dangerous to freeze my labia and cutting it myself? I have no idea what to do please help me.

Is part of my vagina hanging out?

water_baby asks:

This is a little bit embarrassing but one part of my vagina hangs out by about two centimeters and I'm really self conscious about it, and I'm worried it isn't normal. Sorry if this is an obvious question I just really need an answer.