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Did my vibrators ruin my sex life?

tarap asks:

I am an 18 year old female. When I was younger I could not orgasm from masterbation with my fingers. So, two years ago I bought a vibrator for clitoral stimulation (commonly referred to as the "egg" or the "bullet") and had such intense orgasms that I could barely finish. Since then, I have been able to acheive orgasm through manual stimulation with my boyfriend and the intensity of the orgasms that I had with my vibrator subsided so that they were very pleasurable. This past summer I bought a new vibrator because my other one broke, this one has a dildo attached to it and a vibarting part for clitoral stimulation (commonly referred to as the rabbit), but I don't usually penetrate myself with the dildo part because I don't enjoy penetration that isn't from my boyfriend's penis. However, now when I orgasm, with my vibrator or my boyfriend, I barely feel anything. I feel the build up in my legs but not real involuntary muscle contractions in my pelvis, vagina or thighs. Sometimes I feel slight contractions in my perenium or bum. But it's as though the orgasm part of my orgasm is gone. How do I restore the intensity and make my orgasms pleasurable and worth it again? This is really affecting my enjoyment of sex and makes my boyfriend feel like he isn't satisfying me. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

How one goes about learning to share their sexuality with another person?

Anonymous asks:

I was wondering how one goes about learning to share their sexuality with another person? I'm 21 and a virgin (older virgins do exist!) for personal and religious reasons. My relationships thus far have consisted primarily of a series of bad first dates... until recently, that is. 3 weeks ago I met a 31 year old man who has opened my eyes to so many things. We get along great, he makes me laugh and appreciates me for who I am.

I have told him I am waiting for marriage to have sex, and he thinks that's great. We have decided to do other stuff, and he has been really good about letting me take the lead, talking about what we're doing and sharing his feelings and experiences. However, for a lot of things he is looking to me for guidance (how to touch me, kiss me, etc.) and I really don't know what to tell him. I've masturbated for 10 years, and have never had a problem having fun by myself, but with another person it is totally different.

There are a number of aspects to it- having another person in my 'personal space', experiencing for the first time what I've been fantasizing about for years (and the reality is quite different!), being nervous, wanting to pleasure him, how to communicate in bed etc. Since I met him, I have been having a hard time masturbating, too. All my fantasies are different.... I'm not sure how or where he fits in.

It's certainly exciting and fun to be discovering these things, but any advice you can give would be much appreciated. Thanks!


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