Skip to main content

needs

He doesn't feel any desire for sex, but I want a sexual relationship

Elizabeth asks:

My boyfriend and I are 22 and 21, respectively, and have been dating for two years. We recently moved into an apartment and now live together. We're committed to not having sex before marriage, but we've been doing other sexual things since we started dating.

When we first got together, he was somewhat interested in oral sex (me to him, but NOT him to me) and touching and stuff. That lasted for only a few months, and since about a year and a half ago he has lost all interest in it. We'll do stuff maybe once every other month, if I'm lucky. It keeps getting worse. He's never been a very sexual person, and never even kissed anyone before me. He doesn't even enjoy kissing because he says it's wet and messy (even though we only ever kiss closed-mouth).

The only thing he has ever been interested in is feet tickling, which I grew used to. But anymore, he doesn't even seem to get turned on by that. He claims to be turned off by not only kissing, but also breasts, porn, and even the mere thought of a vagina.

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

Would friends-with-benefits work for me?

Anonymous asks:

I've been confused about my sexual attraction to a guy I've liked for the past 2 years. He has always made it clear that he only wants sex from me, but he has no romantic feelings for me, and I've always been confused about how far I've wanted to go with something so unstable. Recently we started our first year at the same college, and I guess with the new freedom and everything I decided that I would try to have sex with him. In that attempt, I just couldn't allow myself to do that, cuz when it started to hurt more and I started thinking about did I want to permanently lose something that I can't have back. But now after the situation I feel like I regret that decision and I want to try again, because I can't stop thinking about it. How can I let him know that? And am I wrong for wanting to have sex with someone who clearly only wants me for sex? And is it bad that I felt uncomfortable discussing what I want to do with him? I've looked around your site, and I see that it doesn't have much information about friends with benefits? Is that because it's condemned?

Am I only able to have sex without emotions?

Anonymous asks:

I have no reservations when I have casual sex. However when one of these flings turns into a relationship and things get serious I don't want to have sex with them anymore. It has happened with my last three boyfriends and has been the primary reason for my breakups. It feels like a normal relationship...we are best friends, we do almost everything together, I care about him tremendously, but I get scared when he wants to have sex. Why can I only have emotionally detached sex?

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.