myths

I Guess You Just Have to Be Prepared to Die!

That's the verbatim response to the question "What if I want to have sex before I get married?" in "No Second Chance," a film that is part of Sex Respect, an abstinence-only program.

This particular message in the video, that sex (and only sex outside of heterosexual marriage) equals death is a common thread in many, if not most, abstinence-only curricula and programs. I figured it was high time we just unpack it, take a good look at the real deal, and be done with it.

How well will condoms really work?

Lary2211
asks:
I'm 19 years old. My boyfriend and I want to have sex. He is not a virgin, but I am. The only thing that I'm scared of is getting pregnant. We will use condoms for sure and as my boyfriend has had intercourse before, I'm assuming he knows how to use them. How effective can the condom be to prevent me from getting pregnant since I will be having sex for the first time?...

How to (Un)pack for a Real Discussion About Abortion

The murder of abortion provider Dr. George Tiller on May 31st has resulted in a lot of conversation about abortion. It’s a topic frequently hushed, or spoken about more around its politics than the actual procedure, the experience itself and the real women who have abortions. So this increased discussion is certainly something potentially positive happening because of something horribly tragic.

However, often in these conversations and news stories, language is used that's confusing or inaccurate, and some statements are made about abortion or women who choose abortion which are false, unrepresentative or misleading. And any of this can come from either “side” of abortion debates or discussions, due to political aims or motivations, ideological ideas or agendas or just out of plain old ignorance.

Did my previous masturbation de-virginize me?

yesman
asks:
I am 15 and when I was 14 I started becoming very interested in masturbating. I actually used objects and penetrated them inside my vagina. After a while i realized how stupid I was being so I stopped with the masturbating. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months and we are so comfortable with each other....

Your vagina is NOT a crystal ball. OR: What your doctor really can't tell just by looking.

Anonymous
asks:
MMkay, so I'm 21, being doing all the right things with yearly exams, getting the tests I need, etc. I just read an article about how the vagina does not substantially change after intercourse, but the first time I had a pelvic exam my doctor said "you're lucky you're getting this done here, a lot of college clinics don't have virgin equipment." What?...

I didn't feel a thing with fingering: is there something wrong with me?

Anonymous
asks:
I am 15 years old, and my boyfriend I went farther in our relationship. It was both of are first times doing anything with someone else's private parts. When he was fingering me, he used one finger for a time and I really didn't feel it, it felt boring. He then did it with two and when I told him I still couldn't really feel it, he was shocked....

He refuses to believe that I need foreplay!

Anonymous
asks:
My boyfriend doesn't understand that females need foreplay first before we have sex. He just thinks it's okay to "put it in and off we go". I've tried to explain to him that females need foreplay, but he doesn't believe me. He thinks just because he is "hard" I should be too. I'm trying to find some articles based on facts that females DO need stimulation before having sex, but to no avail....

How do you tell when women are done having sex?

Liam
asks:
I know for a guy, sex is over once he ejaculates. But when is the sex over for a girl? Because I've always been told in sex ed that the guy is "finished" once he cums & that girls don't always ejaculate during sex. But I never really thought to ask about when a girl is "finished." So when does a guy know the sex has finished for both, if the girl doesn't always "finish off" like guys do? ...

Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Anonymous
asks:
I am a 19 year old female. And a virgin. The thing is I feel ready to experience sexual intercourse. Not only that, I feel it is a "stepping stone" that will allow me to "grow-up". All of my friends at this point have lost their virginity, including my 16 year old cousin! I feel left behind almost as if they've grown in some grand way that I have yet to experience....