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Four Daughters, Four Moms, Four Sex Talks

happy_active_loved_17 asks:

I'm 18, and I've been sexually active for about three years. I met my current boyfriend in August of 2010 and we've been inseparable since. He just celebrated his 21st birthday. My problem is, my mom seems to think I'm her angelic, virginal teenager. (I'm one of five kids) She doesn't know I'm dating or that I'm not a virgin. Before I go away to college, I'd like to come clean to her. I'm just not sure how to do that without shattering her image of me completely, though it seems inevitable.
 So, how do I begin to tell her?

It's a Powerful Thing

Earlier this week, in the context of another conversation, one of our users at Scarleteen mentioned that her feelings on abortion had changed to a negative when she learned that her mother's pregnancy had been unplanned, and that her mother considered abortion. She said that upset her, because she really liked existing. She did say she was still pro-choice, but her sentiment bothered me all the same. Some of why it bothered me was political, and also about the work that I do and have done. But in thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that the ways it bothered me most were intensely personal.

The truth is, I envy her. A lot. I envy she was able to have a discussion in which her mother made clear she had the right to choose and she chose to remain pregnant and parent her. She wasn't forced, she wasn't pressured, she didn't do what she did because it was the only thing she could do without risking her life, her health, being locked away or hidden or committing a crime. She chose. S

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Dear Abby

This is a guest post from alphafemme, part of the blog carnival to help raise awareness and support for Scarleteen.

My mother reads Dear Abby religiously. She’s done it for as long as I can remember, always picking out the “Lifestyle” section of our local daily paper and turning to page B2.

Some days growing up, my sister or father would abscond with the section before she got to it to do the crossword or read the comics, but she would keep her eye on it, calling dibs on the section next. As a kid, it didn’t occur to me to question her loyalty to the column, and in fact I blindly followed suit–reading Dear Abby, it seemed, was something one did if one was to be a Woman. I was never all that impressed by the advice “Abby” (Pauline Phillips was her real name, if I remember correctly) doled out, and eventually I got bored of her predictable responses and stopped reading. The act of stopping wasn’t all that memorable or all that conscious; it just sort of slipped away, superseded by more

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Can a gynecologist tell if I'm a virgin?

julez asks:

My mom says she wants to take me to the gynecologist to check my virginity. Is it possible that the doc will be able to tell whether i have lost it or not?

I might be pregnant, and everyone wants me to do something different.

Gabi asks:

I used to be on BC, but when I found out I was taking it wrong I had to stop. I'm supposed to start it again the Thursday after I get my period... that is if my period comes. This is why I'm here. My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex, and I asked my mom if my period could be late because I'm no longer on BC. She became suspicious and a few days later we talked. I'm 17, by the way. She told me if I am pregnant that I'd have to abort it because I don't have the money or time to support a newborn, not to mention I'm starting college in August. She told me if I want to keep it then I can't live in her house. If I want to keep it, I have to PROVE to her that I am old enough to deal with it. So my question is directed towards abortion. How is an abortion performed, and does it hurt? I'm starting to get a little worried now because my period is late... and I can not (emotionally) handle a Pregnancy Test. I just can't. I told my boyfriend, who is 20, the situation. He's Mexican, and I am white. He freaked out because they're Catholic, and don't believe in abortion and they're all family oriented. He kinda got mad and was like, "you're going to kill my f------ baby." My mom told me he doesn't have a say in this whole situation, so I guess I have another question... how can I help him cope with this? Or is this something he just has to cope with himself? Thanks for reading, hope you can help! (I'm sure you can!!! :])

I Want It NOW!

The majority of pregnancies that occur for adolescent women are unplanned. But some pregnancies in the teen years -- a general estimate is usually about one in five -- are intended or planned. One reason that sex education likely hasn't reduced those pregnancy rates as much as it might is that some teens know full well what birth control is and how and when to use it, but choose not to, sometimes because they -- maybe you -- want to become pregnant.

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