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What's Sex?

It's obviously important if you're here for information that you know what we mean when we talk about sex, so we thought we'd make it clear.

Getting Married When We (May) Want Different Things from Sex

greentea23 asks:

I am 23 and I am getting married this fall. I have never had sex before because I have been waiting for marriage. My fiance is not a virgin. We have different views on the purpose of sex. His goals are intimacy and pleasure. I have a lifelong history of feeling guilty about any kind of physical pleasure and therefore trying to avoid it altogether. I really do not care whether I ever have an orgasm. I actually do not know what I think the point of sex is. How can we start a sexual relationship when our goals for sex are so different?



Big love, but an equally big sexual disconnect

Dan10 asks:

I'm 20 and I've been talking to this girl for a couple months and she's amazing. When I'm with her all of my pain and suffering that I go through daily is gone. She takes it away with a little smile. She says I'm everything she wants in a guy and I make her happy except when we start becoming intimate. She says the sexual attraction isn't there, and I can't get her to reach an orgasm with my penis. It's normal sized but she says she wishes it was bigger. We had sex 3 weeks after we met and she says if we would have waited until she had deeper feelings for me, it wouldn't matter. I've never had a girl make me feel likes she does. I'm not some dumb young guy, I have a house and a car and a job but all I want is her. But I don't know what to do from here. I can't hit her spot, and I've tried putting her legs on my shoulder. What should I do?

He's ready, but I'm conflicted.

15horses asks:

My boyfriend thinks I should try masturbating before we have sex. It just doesn't feel right to me. I want to be with him and just have him hold me. It's not about just having an orgasm. I don't know how to make him understand this?

Also, my boyfriend wants to have sex. My body feels like it is ready but my brain is saying I should wait. Is 16 too young? I'm afraid he doesn't really love me. I want him to be committed, how should I tell him this?

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