messages

It’s All Right: There Is No One Right Time to Start Dating

Many social norms, macro or micro, can make it seem like the ideal — or even only! — time to start having dating experiences is in high school. You may get the message that doing it any other time, even just waiting until you’re in college, puts you at  some kind of disadvantage. To go against that grain may inspire some social judgement of you and, at least in my case, leave you wondering if you’re just fulfilling a harmful stereotype about what autistic people are capable and incapable of doing. Even if it’s impossible to remember amidst the din of outside messaging world, there is no one right time for dating. That’s as true for neurodivergent folks, including those of us on the autism spectrum, as it is for neurotypical members of the world.

From Erasure to Ownership: A Bisexuality Journey

I experienced bisexual erasure when I was a teenager. The first crushes I remember having were on boys, but I’ll never forget the first time I met a girl and felt weak in the knees. I was thirteen years old. A year later I heard the term bisexual for the first time and felt like it described me.

Making Sense of Sexual Media

What is sexual media, how might we think wisely about it, and how can we figure out how to feel and what choices to make with it?

Connecting with WOC and Sexuality

Sexuality in ColorEver since puberty, I found my body to be a site of shame, something I desperately wanted to escape.

A transplant to predominantly white Catholic schools on Long Island, I was immediately deemed ugly. I had an older sister, but we were close enough in age that we were navigating puberty around the same time. As second-generation daughters of immigrant parents, we were on our own as far as navigating the personal and social meanings of our bodies.

I like fantasizing about it: would I like it for real?

Prozac4490
asks:
I like to fantasize about being spanked when I masturbate, and I'm wondering if I would like it in real life sex play, too. Trouble is, I'm a little nervous about the idea of actually trying it out, and I'm too embarrassed to ask my boyfriend if he'd be cool with that! What should I do?...

Decoding Sex in the Media: There are No Blurred Lines When it Comes to Consent

For many young people, Robin Thicke’s hit single "Blurred Lines" has become the anthem of the summer. Recently topping the Billboard Hot 100 list and rising to the position of most-downloaded song on iTunes, “Blurred Lines” seems to be thumping out of every stereo speaker on the planet. And for good reason -- it’s a very catchy song, with a strong beat and ostensibly fun lyrics.

Like many artists before him, Thicke sings about a complex topic -- sex -- but he makes the mistake of ignoring a crucial underlying issue: consent.

I'm scared to touch my own vagina: why?

birthdaycake123
asks:
Hey. I'm 14 and I've never fingered myself. I've done other things, but the thought of fingering myself just seems gross. A couple times, I've tried to, but then I get to thinking about how gross vaginas are, and I chicken out. I know this is irrational, but do you have any advice on getting over this? Thanks....