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I've recently realized that I have some deep seated negative thoughts about sex. I feel that it's dirty, wrong and I'm bad if I have sex or use sex toys. I've always had some pain when I've had sex but I thought it was because I was nervous that it would hurt, so I would clench and it would cause pain. But I just got my first vibrator and I couldn't use it because I was clenching so hard that it hurt to use it. I realized that it's not that I'm scared of the pain, it’s that deep down I have the belief that if you have sex, or use sex toys, that you're a bad person and that it's not normal. I know that this is untrue, but it’s impacting my sex life enormously. How do I overcome my irrational fears?
I'm so used to seeing TV shows with the "bachelor" who constantly sleeps around and never has a partner, or the one who's looking for "the one" and falls in love and looses someone new every five episodes. And at school, I'm used to everyone dating for a week, then more or less switching partners, or randomly sleeping together.
My question is: How many partners do most people have in their life time? And do one-week stands count as a small relationship? How short can a relationship be, and how long can it before moving on and finding someone new becomes really hard? Can people be in committed, loving, polygamous relationships, or have different partners for different things (like someone else for especially rough sex you wouldn't want to subject a gentler emotional-lover to)?
Before I get started, full disclosure: I haven't shaved or depilated anything in nine years and I just don't come in contact with much advertising. (It's amazing what you miss when you fast-forward through commercials and don't buy mainstream magazines.)
That being said, I am appalled by Nair's new ad campaign.
Reading mainstream “teen girl magazines” can feel like opening a can of worms to conscientious readers: on one hand, they’re quick, colorful, and fun to flip through; on the other, they support the status quo, with “meaningful” articles stuck between page upon page of boyfriend tips and beauty ads. What’s a girl (or guy or genderqueer person) to do?!?Read more...