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Deep down I think that sex is bad and wrong. What can I do??

Anonymous asks:

I've recently realized that I have some deep seated negative thoughts about sex. I feel that it's dirty, wrong and I'm bad if I have sex or use sex toys. I've always had some pain when I've had sex but I thought it was because I was nervous that it would hurt, so I would clench and it would cause pain. But I just got my first vibrator and I couldn't use it because I was clenching so hard that it hurt to use it. I realized that it's not that I'm scared of the pain, it’s that deep down I have the belief that if you have sex, or use sex toys, that you're a bad person and that it's not normal. I know that this is untrue, but it’s impacting my sex life enormously. How do I overcome my irrational fears?

How many partners do most people have in their lives, and is everyone serially monogamous?

Kalira asks:

I'm so used to seeing TV shows with the "bachelor" who constantly sleeps around and never has a partner, or the one who's looking for "the one" and falls in love and looses someone new every five episodes. And at school, I'm used to everyone dating for a week, then more or less switching partners, or randomly sleeping together.

My question is: How many partners do most people have in their life time? And do one-week stands count as a small relationship? How short can a relationship be, and how long can it before moving on and finding someone new becomes really hard? Can people be in committed, loving, polygamous relationships, or have different partners for different things (like someone else for especially rough sex you wouldn't want to subject a gentler emotional-lover to)?

Bloghopping: June/July 2008

  • The teen booklet that Madeline and Suzanne over at Lunapdas have been working on for years with my help, as well as help and contributions from Inga Muscio, Sarah Mundy, Emira Mears and Dr. Jerilynn Prior is finally done, and is a gorgeous, fantastic, radical, groovy slice of awesome. Yay!

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The ABCs of Size Bias

Body image ideals, like race and gender, are social constructs that have grown out of a combination of history, politics, class, and moral values. One need look back only a few generations, or across cultures, to see that attitudes about thinness and fatness are fluid and ever changing.

To Be... AWESOME or Just Be –– Tips on Making the Most of Your Life Right Now!

Do you ever watch those reality TV shows where someone gets a total life or personality makeover, and wonder when a TV crew will come along to “pimp” your life? This article offers tips on DIY life improvement. You can take the steps to change and improve your life for the better, all by yourself, and without that pesky camera crew there to catch your most embarrassing and trying moments.

How can you feel pretty without Nair?

Before I get started, full disclosure: I haven't shaved or depilated anything in nine years and I just don't come in contact with much advertising. (It's amazing what you miss when you fast-forward through commercials and don't buy mainstream magazines.)

That being said, I am appalled by Nair's new ad campaign.

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Questioning gender identity in mainstream media

Reading mainstream “teen girl magazines” can feel like opening a can of worms to conscientious readers: on one hand, they’re quick, colorful, and fun to flip through; on the other, they support the status quo, with “meaningful” articles stuck between page upon page of boyfriend tips and beauty ads. What’s a girl (or guy or genderqueer person) to do?!?

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Love Your Body! (NOW)

Women and girls spend billions of dollars every year on cosmetics, fashion, magazines and diet aids. These industries can't use negative images to sell their products without our assistance. Together, we can fight back.

Black College Wire

Black College Wire is a news service established in 2002 to promote the journalistic work of students at predominantly black colleges and universities and link those young journalists to training and employment opportunities in the field.

The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network

The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network strives to assure that each member of every school community is valued and respected regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.