masculinity

I like gay male porn, but gay men in real life freak me out.

Frederick
asks:
I have doubts: I am a 14 year old guy, I'm from Argentina now living in Florida and I have always pictured myself with girls in romantic relationships, and I still do. But now I enjoy watching gay pornography. When I picture a two-man relationship it disgusts me, but yet I prefer gay porn....

Too Easy, My Aunt Fanny.

Charleen B.
asks:
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year now. I am 16 and he is 18. We live in Egypt. In the first 2 months I used to ask him embarrassing questions about sex - I thought it would break the ice between us. He used to say that he does not want things to go too far, at least not for now....

My boyfriend has boundaries and responses to sex I don't know how to deal with.

cookie127
asks:
My boyfriend has a problem with sex, I know him very well and I know he's not just being a guy. He likes to play around a lot but he's very iffy about me touching him I don't know how to help this or what to do... he did have a really terrible experience when he was younger but he's had long term relationships and he has slept with other women but only 2....

How men can support women and Feminism

Recently, I've been talking about men and feminism a fair bit, and not just in what I write, but in other places online and in real life. This is pretty normal for me, but what's a bit interesting is that a lot of these conversations have been around the relationship of men to feminism and in particular, what role men can play in supporting feminism and women in general.

So, About That Video...

I tried several times to leave a comment at the National Campaign's blog on this, but alas, it wouldn't let me. I'm pretty savvy with web forms, so it's probably just some kind of temporary technical snag over there. Since it wouldn't let me do so there, I'm doing it here.

I can make you a man, too, (Not) the Charles Atlas way.

The title above refers to a famous series of fitness and bodybuilding advertisements from the 1940's & 50's. The not so subtle suggestion in these ads, and many male-targeted ads and products since, is that masculine identity is primarily about being strong, about having power; often, masculinity is seen as something literally embodied. But that's not the case: masculine identity is so very much more than what can be seen, about so much more than expressions of power and dominance. And it cannot be bought from the back of a magazine.

Male Needs

Talk, images & representations of men and sex are EVERYWHERE in culture and society.

One recurring and dominant theme in our understanding of male sexual behaviour is the idea of the male "need" for sex. The common narrative for this concept of men's needs is one based on some sort of biological imperative, be that a study about some fundamental wiring in a male brain (or genitals) that requires men to regularly engage in sexual intercourse to maintain physical well-being, intimate relationships and a healthy sense of self. Or perhaps it is some essential part of the male brain, left over from our ancient forefathers - for whom constant procreation ensured the survival of the familial line, if not the entire species.

What strikes me again and again is the frequency with which cultural understandings of sexuality are reinforced and legitimised through this language of science.

Pornography, Strip Clubs & Other Feminist Relationship Quandaries

sylviaplath
asks:
I could really use some help on this issue. I am a feminist, and pride myself on being open-minded and trying to keep my insecurities in check. I have been with my boyfriend for years, and we have lived together for 2. Within the past few months I have been looking at his computer and seeing that he watches pornography. While I do try to understand why, I cannot help but feel hurt....

How do I tell my boyfriend I don't think he's ready for sex yet?

erohwaremac
asks:
My boyfriend and I have been going out for over five months now. In an emotional sense, we're a perfect couple. We love and respect each other, and get along incredibly. However, I am his first real girlfriend. I'm only the third girl he's ever kissed and done other things with. We "fool around" such as we make out, he feels me up and fingers me, and I go down on him, etc....