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manipulation

I Think He Might Be Using Me. What Should I Do?

Janedavid124 asks:

Hey I am 18 years old, I have been in a relationship with this guy. We've only met once or twice,and we never kissed, we talk to each other regularly on texts and on video call. On video call we masturbate by taking each others names, we give each other pleasure but now I have realized that he doesn't like talking to me. Whenever I text him he always says to send him private pictures and whenever I refuse to masturbate for him or send him pictures he says he want breakup and then he starts fighting he argues and says he will find someone else. I like talking to him and i want him to tell me everything going around his life but he never tells me I don't know what to do. Does he love me or my body? Shall I breakup with him before its too late because I think he is just playing with my feelings. Please help me to make my decisions as I am really confused right now..

The Problem Is Not Your Performance, It's Your Boyfriend

Meme28 asks:

My boyfriend REALLY wants to have sex with me. We're both 17. I don't want to because I'm afraid to be naked around him. I have given him oral sex. But he hasn't done anything but kiss me. Though, last night he caught me in the shower and asked if he could come in and I reluctantly agreed. We had sex, but after he told me that because I was a virgin I failed my first time. He also told me that my breasts are to small and my performance was terrible. He later told me he was sorry, and we had sex again. But he told me after that time I was horrible overall. I don't know if I'm that bad. I'm really nervous when he touches my breasts or vagina. Could this be affecting my performance? Any answers would help.

Be Your Own Superhero: Learning How and When to Stand Up for Ourselves

Feel like being able to clearly set boundaries, stick to them, and assert yourself must require superpowers? Nope! You've already got all the goods: here's how to develop and use them!

So, About That Sex You're Having While You're Saving Sex for Marriage...

As a sex educator, I don't define sex as only being about penis-in-vagina intercourse, for a whole lot of reasons.

For one, I know that a lot of people (including myself sometimes!) have or have had satisfying, full sexual lives without intercourse, either because they're not at intercourse yet in life or a given relationship, it's off the table for a while for some reason, or because they're in relationships where penis-in-vagina sex just isn't an option or possibility in the first place. I also know, as a sex educator, that some or all of the physical and emotional things that can happen with penis-in-vagina intercourse can and typically do happen with other kinds of sex, whether we're talking about emotional feelings or experiences, the human sexual response cycle, the expression of sexuality in general or possible outcomes like STIs or pregnancy. The way I define sex as a sex educator is like so:

If we say someone is having sex, or doing something sexual, we mean they are acting

Read more...

He wants to take his anger out on my body: that's not okay, right?

bludragonfly7 asks:

My ex-boyfriend and I are working through a very hard situation where in his perspective I cheated on him so I'm trying to fix things and gain his trust again. There has been a lot of pain and distrust between us lately but we are finally getting to a healthier, better place. However, he said something that really disturbed me the other day and I need someone else's perspective. He said he wanted to take his frustration and anger out on me sexually. I was appalled because sex is making love and that's the way I like it. When I protested and told him how absurd I thought it was he made me feel ridiculous and went on about how it was a creative solution and that I have to let him get through this his way by doing this to me. Is this a muffed up situation or am I overreacting?

I'm not sure I can live with herpes

Seeker asks:

I am currently living with my boyfriend (who is considerably older than I am) and he gave me genital herpes. He has supported me through the initial outbreak (which was terrifying, painful, and life-altering), and has continued to comfort and discuss our relationship with me. However, I have become quite depressed and feel that I have discarded my body's purity and feel that if I ever leave this man, I will not be worthy of a regular or healthy relationship.

I want to be married and have children at some point in my life, but feel like I don't deserve that since I was so cavalier and thoughtless when it came to my sexual health. I have been thinking about hurting myself or ending my life (of which I have a history), and have also considered hurting the man who I am beginning to feel deliberately infected me as a means to entrap and emotionally destroy me.

I am 20 years old and alone. I have no familial support and don't feel like I can tell my friends I am infected because they are healthy and may reject me. Any encouragement or advice will be greatly appreciated.

He was sweet at first, but then I said no to sex...

Anonymous asks:

I'm a 15 year old virgin and at the beginning of the summer holidays a met this guy through a friend of mine. We got on really well and started dating about a week after we met. The only problem is now we've been going out for a few weeks he's started to change, he's not as sweet and caring anymore and has started to try to get me to do more sexual things with him. He says his last girlfriend and him had sex after two weeks and doesn't understand why I will only do basic things. Up until now I've found it so easy to tell people I don't want to do something, but I've told him I don't think we've been dating long enough to do anything serious and he won't listen. Please give me some advice, I'm worried soon I won't have the guts to stand up to him and I don't want to be rushed into anything I don't want to do.

Her pregnancy of two years ago came BACK?!?

confused asks:

I recently found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is I am a virgin. She had an abortion about 2 years ago and she told me that her doctor said it could randomly come back at anytime without her having sex. I want to believe her but something tells me that isn't right. PLEASE HELP!

Do I need to prove my love to him by giving him money?

Jasmine asks:

So basically I have this boyfriend who is 2 years older than me. The sex is great and everything is fine. He really is one of the sweetest guys I have ever known. We have been together for months. I went out with his best friend first (who I lost my virginity to). He is perfectly fine with that as it was 2 years ago. Just one minor flaw. I was also under a lot of pressure at the time I lost my virginity and so when he asked me for large amounts of money, I gave in, believing that he loved me. It would not be an understatement to say that he ruined my life. He told EVERYONE at school what happened between us. However, he only told his friend (my boyfriend) about the money.

I am deeply in love with my boyfriend, and everybody is happy for me. When I say he is the most generous, kind guy I really mean it, and my caring friends also agree. But now he has asked me to give him money. Now I appreciate the fact that I am more well-off than him and his friend...but still. He said that if I love him I would give it.

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

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