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Why does male sexuality seem so repulsive to me? Am I just too feminist?

Anonymous asks:

This is more of a psychological issue, I think, than a physical one, and possibly unsolvable, but I'll ask your opinion anyway because this site seems pretty clued up and sensibly feminist and lovely.

I have recently become disgusted with the idea of male pleasure. It's like I'm... too feminist to function. I have had sexual partners in the past, but recently, the more I learn about male character (although that is a gross generalization, I know - there is no innate male or female "character"), the less reconciled I am to pleasing men. My rational mind knows that there are plenty of men who are not misogynist pigs, who don't objectify women, who aren't secretly rapists... yet when I fantasize about sex, and men getting pleasure from sex, I feel physically repulsed. Like, how dare they use my body, they're just like trying to get pleasure from me. I know that is MASSIVELY unjust because surely women are using men too, but I literally can't help it.

How do I convince him to use a condom when he says we don't need one?

Dawn asks:

I'm 14. There is this guy I knew for a couple of years now. We are very good, close friends. As the months went by, we started to get sexually attracted to each other. About 2-3 weeks ago we had oral sex (I sucked his penis only). Now we want to do even more. We both want to actually have sex. I'm really attracted to him sexually. After sexual intercourse has occurred between the two of us, there's no way I can ever forget him. I will have to live my life knowing he was the one who took my virginity, and that's fine. But the only problem is...he feels that there is no need for a condom. He says "there is a feeling he gets that lets him know when the sperm is coming." Should I believe what he says is true or should I convince him that a condom is definitely needed?

We both masturbate, but she hates that I do.

Anonymous asks:

Recently my girlfriend and I have become more sexually active. We've agreed not to have intercourse, but to do everything else. Along with our discussions came the issue of masturbation. We both do it, but she never achieves orgasm through it. She hates that I do it, although I've explained it is natural and healthy for guys and does not affect anything we do and does not make her less important. I do not know really how to approach the issue to make her feel better.

How do I get my girlfriend comfortable with the idea of a threesome?

muskate23 asks:

Me and my GF have been going out for about a year and I want to get her comfortable with us bringing in another girl, but I don't know how to approach her about it. I don't know what I should say to get her comfortable. I don't want to sound as if I want another girl, I just want to try something new.

Why can't she just understand that I'm not ready yet?

Chad asks:

My girlfriend doesn't understand why we can't have sex because I'm not ready. I keep asking her to wait a little longer, but then she gets confused and she thinks I'm not interested. I just don't want to mess up or get an STD. I don't know what to do.

Casual sex with a friend that didn't stay so casual.

Anonymous asks:

I've done a bad, bad thing. I lost my virginity about a year ago in my sophomore year in high school to my ex. Since then I've slept with a couple more guys including my best friend, J (I guess that's better than using his real name). J was a virgin until we were "together," but I found out afterward that he's has feelings for me for a while now. To tell the truth, I thought we were just screwing around and getting drunk together, and then it lead to sex. Now he's all clingy, romantic and, "we should be together for the rest of our lives" kind of crap. I hate romantic. I want to be friends again but he sees us either as a couple or nothing. I'm so screwed. What should I do to make him my best friend again?

Three questions after abortion and one after miscarriage

anonymous asks:

I had a surgical abortion at 10 weeks in February. Besides the abortion, I have never been to an OB-GYN, but because I am getting married in May, I would like to go soon. Since it is likely that I will move and never go back to this particular OB-GYN, is it necessary that I tell her about my abortion? Will she be able to tell during the examination? I've read that the cervical opening looks more like a slit than a circle after it has been fully dilated, but I doubt I was fully dilated for the procedure. I don't want to lie or be tricky, and I know it is best to tell a doctor everything about your medical history, but since this will likely be a one-time visit with a doctor I know very little about (ex. pro-life or pro-choice), I would really prefer to avoid the topic if at all possible. Thanks!

My best friend just came out to me... but I was in love with him.

Andi asks:

My best friend (boy) just came out to me that he is gay (I'm a girl).

I have been in love with him for 2 years now, and I am utterly devastated by this. I am really, really heartbroken. This happened just 3 days ago and I'm still in a state of shock. I don't know what to do now. I tell myself I'm feeling sad because I thought I might lose him, because he is now this new person I never knew, because he was never the guy I thought he was. But honestly, it may be because I am losing him as in I can never be his girlfriend/wife (because he will never like girls!). How do I deal with this?

I'm going on a trip alone, but I wonder if I should be prepared for being raped.

Tash asks:

I'm going traveling alone soon, and do realize the risks of it. I've recently been thinking about the prospects of rape, I know it may not be more likely to happen in a foreign country than here, but I do live in one of the safest places in England, so I'm quite ignorant of the likelyness of it. I'm a virgin, and have no idea if it would hurt more than if I were not. I know it sounds like a stupid question but its not something I can discuss with anyone I know. Anyway, would it be worth losing my virginity prior to leaving on the off chance? I have no one in mind to lose it to, and I understand it needs to be with someone I trust and feel comfortable, I'm just confused and need some help. Thank you.

kNOw more: Nearly One in Five Young Women Have Experienced Forced Intercourse

One of the nation’s top violence prevention organizations today launched an unprecedented new initiative to raise awareness about a kind of abuse that is rarely discussed, but has severe consequences. The Family Violence Prevention Fund’s (FVPF’s) kNOw More initiative examines the reproductive health consequences of sexual coercion and violence, which include unintended pregnancy, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections, miscarriage, infertility, coerced abortion, and a range of other serious health issues. kNOw More is designed to start a dialogue about the birth control sabotage and reproductive coercion that many teens and young women face, and help draw the link to the reproductive health problems it causes. Its website is www.KnowMoreSayMore.org.

New research conducted for the initiative by Child Trends finds that some 18 percent of women age 18 to 24 report having experienced forced sexual intercourse at least once in their lives. Child Trends used data from the 2002

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