Skip to main content

limits

My friend is making terrible choices: how can I help?

Marie asks:

My best friend thinks its safe to have unprotected sex. She's sixteen (and has been for six months) and her boyfriend is fourteen (and will be for another three months). He thinks she's on the pill, so he doesn't ask her that they use a condom. Even though both of them were virgins, she was his first girlfriend while she had been "messing around" with guys as old as thirty four when she was as young as twelve. Her boyfriend is best friends with my boyfriend, and she is my best friend. Neither my beloved or I want to see this happen, but she acts like it's no big deal, and he yells every time we try to ask about it. She tells me I don't know what I'm talking about, since I'm a virgin and so is my boy -- and we intend to stay that way until we're in a truly committed relationship -- and says to just quit bothering her about it. If I didn't know for a fact that my best friend WANTED to have her boyfriends baby -- and soon -- I wouldn't stress nearly as much as I am currently. I don't know what to do, and was wondering if you could give me any advice... anything is helpful, I know she isn't ready for a kid and wish I could find a tactful way to convince her that there is no safe kind of unprotected sex. I've already showed her Scarleteen, and she brushed it off... so I'm out of ideas. Thanks much!

Was what we did a sex act?

lolo18 asks:

I'm a 14 year old girl and I hang out with my neighbor a lot (he's a guy) and one day we were at his house in the pool and we accidentally "rubbed" our bodies together and he got an erection. Was what we did a sex act? We still hang out and stuff but it hasn't been we kinda have that sexual tension between us now.

He's older, I'm intimidated and unsure

Anonymous asks:

I am a 15 year old girl and I have a boyfriend who is 20 we are going out for about two months we both love each other and till now we have had only one private moment were we smooched and he touched my breasts after asking and he tried to touch my privates like he just placed his finger there but he didn't go inside I told him that I didn't like it so he withdrew when we smooched again he took my hand to his penis but I jerked it off . We both are true to each other he has got a blowjob once from a girl n he has also fingered her and I too have given a blowjob to my ex but I am scared if I get pregnant and I also can't tell him to use condoms because he doesn't like it he also tells about having sex with me but I am just fifteen so what do I do? I also want to and don't want to give him a blowjob because I am scared that I will get pregnant and will he think wrong of me if I give him one? Because I don't want this relation to break.

I want to wait, but he's pushing (literally) and I'm not sure what's going on!

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend is respectful of my wishes not to engage in pre-marital sex, but lately, he has been teasing me with his penis and sometimes applying pressure "down there." Then I always make sure he doesn't push any further, but a few times he has pushed a little bit into my labia. But lately, I have been wondering I have lost my virginity...have I?

He wants me to prove I love him by having sex.

Taylor asks:

I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP

He's a great boyfriend... except when it comes to sex and my boundaries.

faithx4xus asks:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and 9 months. From the very beginning, I made it extremely clear that I was not ready for sex and not going to be for a long time, if not until marriage. He said he respected it, and we agreed not to pressure one another until we were completely comfortable with decisions we had both made as a couple. About 8 months into our relationship, we discussed our sexual boundaries and agreed that we were comfortable with dry humping. Kissing and some fondling was all that we had experienced before. Everything with that was fine, and I began to give him hand jobs about 3 months later, but it was very rare. He had no issues with that either, except for the fact that he wanted to return a similar amount of pleasure to me, but I explained I wasn't ready for that, and he claimed it was fine. In the summer we went to the beach, and it was the first time I'd been around him in that little of clothing, so I was already nervous. He didn't say anything reassuring, but he was all over me the entire time. By the end of the day, I felt used and disrespected since he had tried to pull my bottoms down a little while standing behind me, but I was not expecting it. That turned into our first major fight, and I eventually broke up with him because of it. (continued below)

He says he won't use condoms on our honeymoon, even though I don't want to get pregnant.

Cassandra asks:

My boyfriend and I have been dating well over a year and we have talked about getting married. He said that on the honeymoon he is not going to wear a condom. I, however, want him to because I don't want to get pregnant right away. I know that you won't get pregnant right away every time, but I don't want to take the chance. I have told him this, yet he still insists on not wearing one. Basically I'm asking how can I change his mind or get him to see it from my point of view?

Was this rape?

Samy-baby asks:

So, I got my boyfriend really horny, and I told him we weren't going to have sex anymore today and that I didn't want to be fingered, but he put his hand down my pants anyways. I kept saying no because I didn't want it, but he's stronger than me and ended up fingering me anyways. Afterward, he said he was sorry, but this wasn't the first time, he always does it and he always says but you like it, like that's supposed to make it better. Is this rape or am I in a safe relationship? Because besides when it comes to sex, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

He wants oral sex, but I don't want to give it.

Jessica asks:

He wants oral sex but I don't like to give it. What should I do?

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.