Skip to main content

libido

Big divides in highly age-disparate relationship

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 months. We are very compatible in terms of interests and values (the outdoors, conservation of resources, frugal living, healthy eating, etc). I am 22 and he is 60. Both of us have had sex with only one other person in our lives--me, my ex-boyfriend and him, his ex-wife.

He wants more sex than me. Big surprise. He's a man. I understand that. I enjoy sex when we have it (1-2 times a week), but I don't want to push myself to have it when I'm not in the mood. My boyfriend is very understanding intellectually, but his body wants much more. We've been talking about this quite a bit, and the fact that he is willing to talk tells me he is a good man. I don't want any strife over this, so I was wondering if you knew of any coping strategies that might work to help us compromise.

On a deeper level, he acknowledges that he uses time with me as an escape from his worries, whereas I tend to bring my worries into the time we have (I'm a student, so I have to do homework on weekends, for example. I can't just forget about work.) He tends to be very goofy, knocking me onto the bed, tickling me, etc., and it gets tiring responding to this. He says, "I'm sorry I like you more than you like me." How am I supposed to respond to that? DUDE! He's old and I was knocked flat with desire the week I met him! I pursued him because I couldn't imagine letting him slip through my fingers.

He says he wants to live with me, and get married. I don't think that's a good idea if he uses my company to escape his troubles--we won't get through anything if he keeps using my company as an escape. Understand that he is a decent, principled man; he married the girl he got pregnant 40 years ago and stayed with her to raise the child. Consequently, he wants to be understanding of my needs and is compulsive about birth control. We simply have a conflict due to our respective sexes and sex drives. I wonder what we can do.

Can you become less sensitive because of sex and masturbation?

Rachel asks:

I’m a 19 year old girl and I’ve been masturbating since I was 14. I usually do it every day, sometimes more than once. My boyfriend is quite willing to please when it comes to oral sex, but lately it isn’t doing much for me. Even masturbation is less satisfying than it used to be, and needs a firmer touch. You hear of guys who worry that too much masturbation has made their penis less sensitive to the extent that they can’t come during penetrative sex – can the same thing happen to a clitoris? And, more importantly, is there anything I can do about it?

We waited for marriage... but it wasn't worth the wait.

Anonymous asks:

I am 28 years old and got married four months ago. Both my husband (29 years old) and I were not virgins before marriage and had both been with two other people before we started dating each other. We made the mutual decision to abstain from intercourse until marriage for religious reasons and to be "right with God" this go around. We dated for two years by the date of our wedding. During that time we would engage in foreplay, oral sex and we enjoyed that. I always wanted to fool around more than him and I made that known while we were dating, but he would always say that it was too difficult to get that worked up and have to stop. I had to agree, so I learned to become patient.

As the relationship went on and we got engaged a year and a half in, during our six month engagement we started having less and less foreplay. As our wedding day approached I became increasingly more excited about FINALLY being able to have guilt free, passionate, fun sex. I would say things like, "I can't wait!" and "how often do you think we'll have sex?" and "We will be able to have sex anywhere in the house and anytime we want" etc. I intentionally said this to express how excited I was about having sex finally. He would respond that he was looking forward to it too but that he didn't know how often we would because he couldn't make statements about part of our relationship that didn't exist yet. He would even get uncomfortable when I would talk about orgasms, something that I've only had real success with achieving with the aid of a vibrator. So the wedding night came and there was no passion, no romance, no "making love" just sex. I thought as least he would take me out of my beautiful dress, NO he just stripped and hoped into the shower, then wanted to have sex in the shower for the first time, Not my vision of my wedding night I'd waited for for two years. The honeymoon was the same. When we do have sex it lasts about 5 min. We've never had spontaneous sex or morning sex or after a fight sex.

He says now he's just not that sexual of a person and I feel betrayed and let down that he didn't express this before we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. He has trouble getting and sometimes keeping an erection and I become frustrated when he turns me down for sex. I've heard of girls not being interested in sex, but never a guy. He just is not into spontaneous, passionate, fun, sex. I'm not even sure he knows the difference. I have had great sex in the past, the kind I can't wait for, but with my husband, it's not exciting and he doesn't even get turned on my sexy lingerie. He is not interested in going to the doctor to take something for his occasional impotence. At best we have sex once a week. I was expecting that "newlywed sex" like rabbits that everyone seems to talk about, is that just a myth? Please help!

Is it normal for a girl after she slept with one guy to be uncomfortable sleeping with another?

Jessie asks:

I've only slept with one guy since I have started having sex. The other night me and this guy we were getting really comfortable and then he wanted to have sex and I wanted to. But when he went to do anything I pulled back from him. Is it normal for a girl after she slept with one guy to be uncomfortable to sleep with another guy?

I have sex, but I don't really want to.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend always wants to have sex. But I am never really in the mood to have it but I do anyways so I dont make him mad. When me and him him have sex I don't feel anything, and I never have a orgasm and I don't know why. Is there something wrong with me? Am I wrong for not telling him that I don't get off?

6 years and no more sex?

Anonymous asks:

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 6 years now and our relationship is fading. I think it might be because our sex life isn't quite what it used to be. In the beginning it was awesome we were young and of course hormones were raging. Now 6 years later we barely have intimate relations, and I'm trying to discover why. Here is my question: I know her sex drive is really low but what can I do to help her get it back to normal? She has been on birth control for around 3 or 4 years and tried many different types of pill contraceptives to combat this problem. Should she try another form of birth control? Should she try hormone therapy? Any help or opinions would help thanks!

Please notify us of any inappropriate ads