intimacy

Managing Vulnerability & Sexual Insecurity

Worried asks:

Hi I'm 15 years old (male) and I want to wait till I find someone I really like before I have sex, but I want them to be a virgin too. I'm worried that if I wait too long all the pretty girls will have had sex and I won't be good at it yet, I'm worried that if they've already had sex that I won't be good enough for them, what should I do?

Sex isn't appealing, but I want to be close to my partner.

think_positive_and_smile asks:

I'm 16 and have been with my boyriend, also 16, for 5 months. He has only ever fingered me as I don't really like the thought of other sexual activities too appealing but feel I am ready for sex as it is a way to be as physically close to him as I am emotionally.

My only problem is is that my opening is really tight and can fit about 2 fingers maximum-- sorry this sounds disgusting? His friends tell me about his "massive penis" and I'm scared he won't be able to fit it in. We have spoken about sex and both agreed that we want to do it, but now I'm just nervous that it won't go as I'd always expected it because I'm too tight? Please help.

He's ready, but I'm conflicted.

15horses asks:

My boyfriend thinks I should try masturbating before we have sex. It just doesn't feel right to me. I want to be with him and just have him hold me. It's not about just having an orgasm. I don't know how to make him understand this?

Also, my boyfriend wants to have sex. My body feels like it is ready but my brain is saying I should wait. Is 16 too young? I'm afraid he doesn't really love me. I want him to be committed, how should I tell him this?

Teens Want More Than Sex "Mechanics"

(Thanks for the AU link, Stephen.)

...a Federal Government-funded study revealed teenagers are crying out for better advice on sexual intimacy and relationships.

The groundbreaking study, funded by the Australian Research Council, shows that while an increasing number of youngsters are sexually active under the age of 16, they feel they receive little to no direction from parents or schools in the areas that matter most.

The research concludes that rather than the basic do's and don'ts of so called "sexual mechanics", what today's teenagers are desperate for is advice on the complexities surrounding sexual intimacy, negotiating consent, handling peer pressure and the potential for violence.

Youngsters who took part in the study also wanted further opportunity to learn communication skills in an area where many adults themselves fall short; dating and continuing relationships.

The chief researcher, Associate Professor Moira Carmody, from the University of Western Sydney's Social Justic...

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