intercourse

The Great No-Orgasm-From-Intercourse Conundrum

Anonymous asks:

I'm 18, female and my boyfriend and I had no previous sexual relationships. I've been engaging in intercourse about a month now, and I was wondering why I haven't orgasmed yet. I've been able to orgasm through masturbation but not with my boyfriend doing the work. What do you think is wrong? Is it normal? Or are we just too inexperienced? If so how do I tell my boyfriend about it?

Without condoms, I only last five minutes: what's wrong with me?

Kris asks:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. I have never loved or felt this way about a girl. We have been sexually active ever since we started hooking-up and dated. She has the ring, and I like not having to use a condom. She is the first girl I have never worn a condom with though. At first I could last 15 to 20 min of intense intercourse and now I last 5 min tops. Why am I doing this? It also seems to turn her off and worries her sometimes cause it's not as long. I always get mad at myself and want to go again like I have something to prove. Am I doing this to myself? We do other activities and she and I both love it, I get her to come and orgasm (sometimes) but when we do this it turns me on so much. Could this be another reason why I go so fast?

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

But then he put a condom on, is there still a risk?

Anonymous asks:

So this all started a month ago, I had been on my period for five days and I had sex with my boyfriend during my period. Around four days later we had sex again. Then we had it once more a week after. He usually goes in me for like 15-30 seconds without a condom, and then he puts a condom on. We've been thinking that I am pregnant, but instead of going anywhere to get checked, we're just waiting for me to get my period, because he thinks he didn't pre-ejaculate and I didn't know you couldn't feel pre-ejaculation until I read other peoples questions and your answers. We're just so afraid that I might be pregnant. We're both young and not ready for a baby. I AM SO SCARED! I can't even explain I have a bright future ahead of me. Is there a possibility I can be pregnant? I am going to keep waiting for my period its supposed to come next week, but what do I do? I am so afraid to even think about it. PLEASE HELP ME!!!! What are early signs of pregnancy?

He loves this position, but it hurts me like hell.

la.shortie asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and we have been having sex. But when we do the doggystyle (not anal) its painful for me. I feel that like my stomach is hurting, which kinda sucks because my boyfriend likes it a lot but its too painful for me. I try to bear with the pain so I can please him but sometimes its too much. What can I do so it doesn't hurt?

Seriously, enough with the fruit already.

yoyo333 asks:

I have had sex with my girlfriend many times now. And she still has not had her "cherry" popped. She is a soccer player and is very active and I have heard that could effect the "cherry" being popped. So is it just me? Or could it be other factors that could affect the cherry being popped?

He wants me to prove I love him by having sex.

Taylor asks:

I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP

To have sex or not to have sex: that's the question.

Eoin asks:

I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.

I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.

First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):