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Sexuality: WTF Is It, Anyway?

The term "sexuality" can be used a lot like the word "sex." They're both terms we say and hear a lot, but which often aren't clearly defined. We take for granted everyone knows what sexuality means, a heck of an assumption to make with something that covers so many important things and can feel as murky as Lake Erie. So: what's it all about?

All About S.E.X.: The Scarleteen Book!

Get your hands on S.E.X.: the in-depth and inclusive young adult sexuality guide by Heather Corinna! Check out reviews, the table of contents and a myriad of places you can get your very own copy of the sexuality primer for every body.

Unlearning Unlovability

I hid my fears and insecurities by desexualizing myself. Now I'm on the path of uncovering ways to unlearn ugliness as an identity.

He Doesn't Want Sex Anymore. I Do. Now What?

chubbychickpea asks:

My partner and I have been dating for over a year now and have just begun to hit some rough patches. We used to have a lot of (what I thought was) really great sex. Then one day he told me that all that sex had been only mediocre for him. I was mortified and also ashamed because it felt like maybe he had never really want to have sex with me, he was just doing it because he knew I wanted to. Recently, he says that he might be asexual, but he isn't sure. He's trans and in the middle of transitioning, so he says his body is changing. He says masturbation "works wonders" for him, and he feels no sexual desire for me whatsoever. I've researched a/sexual relationships - the options are 1) me learning to like masturbation - I do, but it's not enough for me 2) him compromising to have sex, which reeks of non-consent and grosses me out 3) an open relationship, which isn't an option for either of us. I'm sexual. I want to feel sexy and desired and to have sex and everything that goes along with it. But if he isn't, what am I supposed to do? Right now the solution feels like I should just repress my libido so I won't need to have sex any more, but I don't even know if that's possible. I'm at an age where I'm being told left and right to assert myself as a woman, as a sexual person, as a queer person - but it seems like all of that's stopping now. If I'm not a sexual woman any more, I don't even know if I can consider myself a woman. That's right, this is potentially gender identity rocking for me. Please give me any and all advice. I'd appreciate it. - Sad, Confused, Terrified.

同性恋与双性恋

許多青少年有很多問題,當涉及到同性戀及雙性戀。在一個文化,往往是如此確鑿的方向和異性戀之外的性身份,許多青少年變得緊張時,他們覺得吸引到那些同性,擔心自己可能是同性戀。其他懷疑(或者甚至是非常肯定),他們是同性戀或雙性戀,但都不敢這麼說是因為他們沒有完全確定,感覺他們將品牌以某種方式,或者僅僅是因為他們害怕被拒絕,被遺棄或通過他們的朋友,家人或社區挨罵。而至少有800萬人在美國是同性戀,大約有70億人仍然認為它是一個“疾病”或“變態”。

Do I need to come out as asexual?

Unchained asks:

I first learned asexuality existed around a year ago. I decided to research it simply because it was something I had never heard about and wanted to be informed.

I came across AVEN and several blogs with people telling about their own experiences with asexuality and debunking myths. After some time of reading about it and kind of forgot about the matter, kept the information I had researched as something to remember when talking to people.

Several months later, the Sunday newspaper featured an article about asexuality. Like before, I didn't think much beyond that it was good asexuality was finally seeming to get some media to talk about it.

I Feel Bad for Being Straight

Zoranoran246 asks:

I have a weird identity problem that nobody I know seems to share. I have lots of LGBTQ friends, and it seems like lately it's a bad thing to be straight. I identify as mostly hetero, at least for now, but my friend group almost looks down on straight relationships, the way that many bigoted communities view LGBTQ people. I sometimes feel embarrassed about my orientation around my closest friends! I have no idea what to do. I don't think that the fact that I'm straight detracts from how weird and wrong all this is. Perhaps I require a different perspective? Please help!

Hair Trouble

Jessica68 asks:

I'm 15. Okay, so I do swimming squad, and sometimes it's embarrassing wearing bathers, cause of pubic hair. I don't know how to get rid of it. Like once I was at my friends house, and she is obsessed with sex, so she watches porn, and I saw some too, and the women have no pubic hair whatsoever! And I get really bothered about that. I mean, what if I'm going to have sex with a guy, and he's like "Eww, you're all hairy. That is disgusting?" I'm really scared about that. If you can help, it would be great! Thanks!

Connecting with WOC and Sexuality

Ever since puberty, I found my body to be a site of shame, something I desperately wanted to escape.

A transplant to predominantly white Catholic schools on Long Island, I was immediately deemed ugly. I had an older sister, but we were close enough in age that we were navigating puberty around the same time. As second-generation daughters of immigrant parents, we were on our own as far as navigating the personal and social meanings of our bodies.

A lot of hurdles were awkward for me. I grew flustered and self-conscious when relatives felt no qualms about making unsolicited comments about my body.

“You’ve got boobs now,” an aunt told me bluntly when I came over with my mother once. How could she mention them? I was mortified.

I could avoid it for a while by wearing starchy undershirts under my school blouses, but soon, I couldn’t hide my growing breasts anymore. I crossed my arms over my chest in an attempt to hide my nipples as they showed through my shirt, but I might as well have be

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Wild and Untamed Things: Why a Cult Classic Still Resonates After All These Years

Scarleteen volunteer Sam reflects on the significance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and how it relates to sexuality, identity, and her middle school experience.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.