identity

I need more than looks to know if I find someone attractive: what does that mean in terms of my orientation?

Holly
asks:
I've noticed that I never really feel sexually attracted to anyone solely on the basis of how they look. I can find people aesthetically attractive. I'm not asexual, though-- I CAN be sexually attracted to people, it's just that I can't be particularly attracted to anyone unless I know what their personalities are like. So, my question is whether I should be considering myself bi, gay, pan, or......

She's a tomboy, so she likes girls, right?

Anonymous
asks:
My friend Chanel is a tomboy but isn't sure she likes girls because she isn't sure of herself what should I tell her or what should I do to make her come out her shell?...

I'm 15 and bisexual, but how do I know for sure?

Anonymous
asks:
Hey, I'm 15, just turned, and bisexual. I can help but wonder if this is because of my hormones or if I really do like girls and guys. I mean, I like kissing both sexes, but I haven't had intercourse yet, and I need to find some way of determining how I feel. I'm proud to say I'm bi, but I don't want to be saying it and lying. ...

Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small)

If we're going to think of our genitals as big, any one of us, given the small range between them, we should think everyone's genitals are big. We also need to accept that it's ignorant or misinformed to think, presume or suggest that penises are big but vaginas are small, because we really are all about the same size. If thinking big is better for one sex, it's also got to be better for the other. So, if you or someone else is going to go on about some big penis, you'd best get just as excited about the idea of a big vagina, and make having a big ol'Vagowski just as cool. And if you're all hung up on the idea that the vagina be as small as it can possibly be, or is such a small thing, then you've got to accept that penises are small, too.

Am I a "loose" woman?

confused girl
asks:
I've been having sex for two years now with the same person. There were times we had sex more than once in a day for a long time. Sometimes 5 or 6 times, and perhaps a few days more than that. Before that I would always have a discharge and didn't like it so I would wear tampons non-stop. I don't wear the tampons non-stop anymore....

Living without Labels

I want to be accepted for who I am, not what I am. I don’t want to be straight if it’s just a VIP pass for friends.

Big questions about gender identity, sexual orientation and sexual fantasy

Charlene
asks:
(Firstly, let me compliment you on your wonderful site: though most people in my life are quite open and accepting, I have NEVER talked to anyone about sex or sexuality--except for the few conversations I've initiated. Information that is accurate, candid, and not colored with shame or guilt is completely refreshing.) I'm 18, and have never had anything approaching sex--I've never even dated....

I think I might be bisexual, but I really do not want to be.

anonymous
asks:
I'm 17yrs old, not sexually active, never had a boyfriend (and I'm more than fine with it). Ever since my friend came out as bisexual, I've had this horrible feeling that I might be too. I've thought sexually about women for a few years now, and occasionally look at female porn. I just assumed this was normal, straight-girl activity, even though I don't think about guys as, um, graphically....