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identity

Genderpalooza! A Sex & Gender Primer

It’s typically assumed that sex and gender are the same. They’re not. What's gender all about, then? What is the range of gender and gender identity, and how does gender impact our lives and how we live them?

Is it normal for girls to experiment with sex together when they're not lesbian?

Sam
asks:
A couple of years ago I was over at my best friends house and we were in her living room ready to go to sleep and we were just talking and she asked me if I masturbate and I told her I did and then she started to rub her clitoris and then she started to rub mine. After that she asked me if I had ever kissed a girl and I said no then we started to make out and stuff....

I need more than looks to know if I find someone attractive: what does that mean in terms of my orientation?

Holly
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I've noticed that I never really feel sexually attracted to anyone solely on the basis of how they look. I can find people aesthetically attractive. I'm not asexual, though-- I CAN be sexually attracted to people, it's just that I can't be particularly attracted to anyone unless I know what their personalities are like. So, my question is whether I should be considering myself bi, gay, pan, or......

I'm 15 and bisexual, but how do I know for sure?

Anonymous
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Hey, I'm 15, just turned, and bisexual. I can help but wonder if this is because of my hormones or if I really do like girls and guys. I mean, I like kissing both sexes, but I haven't had intercourse yet, and I need to find some way of determining how I feel. I'm proud to say I'm bi, but I don't want to be saying it and lying. ...

Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small)

If we're going to think of our genitals as big, any one of us, given the small range between them, we should think everyone's genitals are big. We also need to accept that it's ignorant or misinformed to think, presume or suggest that penises are big but vaginas are small, because we really are all about the same size. If thinking big is better for one sex, it's also got to be better for the other. So, if you or someone else is going to go on about some big penis, you'd best get just as excited about the idea of a big vagina, and make having a big ol'Vagowski just as cool. And if you're all hung up on the idea that the vagina be as small as it can possibly be, or is such a small thing, then you've got to accept that penises are small, too.

Living without Labels

I want to be accepted for who I am, not what I am. I don’t want to be straight if it’s just a VIP pass for friends.

Big questions about gender identity, sexual orientation and sexual fantasy

Charlene
asks:
(Firstly, let me compliment you on your wonderful site: though most people in my life are quite open and accepting, I have NEVER talked to anyone about sex or sexuality--except for the few conversations I've initiated. Information that is accurate, candid, and not colored with shame or guilt is completely refreshing.) I'm 18, and have never had anything approaching sex--I've never even dated....

I think I might be bisexual, but I really do not want to be.

anonymous
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I'm 17yrs old, not sexually active, never had a boyfriend (and I'm more than fine with it). Ever since my friend came out as bisexual, I've had this horrible feeling that I might be too. I've thought sexually about women for a few years now, and occasionally look at female porn. I just assumed this was normal, straight-girl activity, even though I don't think about guys as, um, graphically....

I hate being a girl: is that wrong?

Anonymous
asks:
I'm a 13 year old girl and HATE being a GIRL. I have the mind strength hands feet and hairiness of a boy but still have the body of a girl complete with boobs. Is there something wrong with me wanting to be a boy?...