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Marriage: The Only Right Choice for Everyone...well, except for you. And you. And you.

Who gets left out, ignored, dismissed or denied when someone states that sex, good sex or real intimacy or love should, can or does only happen within the context of monogamous marriage, or when any given couple has only had one spousal sexual or romantic partner in a lifetime?

More than a few people.

  • gay, lesbian or bisexual people in same-sex romantic or sexual partnerships in most parts of the world, including those with families
  • people whose life or committed partnerships are platonic or affectionate friendships, same-sex or opposite-sex, not romantic or sexual marriages
  • people under the legal age to marry
  • those who are or who have been married and who did not or have not found all or any of those things within their marriages
  • rape or incest survivors, when others or culture class rape as sex
  • those who have been married and were abandoned by their spouse
  • couples who are not yet married, and intend to marry but are sexual together now
  • those who are married to someone who has extra
Read more...

Not feeling much with penetration, what's up with that?

Ashlee B. asks:

I'm 18 years old and I recently just lost my virginity. It wasn't very painful at all as I had heard it might be, in fact the pain I felt was very minor and more so irritating to my vagina than anything. The thing that I was worried about though however, is the fact that after he entered, I felt nothing. At first I thought that maybe it was because he doesn't seem really big in size, but after reading up on it, I guess he's pretty average. And although I felt nothing, he did. So I don't have a clue why this is so. Also, I've never really found pleasure in fingering either when he does or when I do it myself because I don't get a sensation from it. Could this be related? I just want to know if you any information that might be useful to me. Thanks.

Am I Blue?

Kaitlynne asks:

I was wondering exactly what "blue-balls" meant for guys. My boyfriend mentioned it recently when he was complaining that I didn't go all the way when we were messing around. (I was touching him inside of his pants, but didn't give him a full-out hand job or oral, so he didn't "get off.") Although I understand the basic concept of painful internal pressure building up because of no outlet, what I was wondering was just how much of a problem this is: is it very likely to happen to him or not? There wouldn't be any more than an hour between arousal and an opportunity for him to jack off, and, to me, it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue since he does so regularly, which, as for my understanding of the matter, would keep the pressure relatively low. I know it didn't happen to him that day, because I asked him a couple of days later, but now it's sort-of in the back of my mind when we're hanging out. Now I'm nervous about getting him turned on, because I feel pressured to do more than that. Its not like I have problems with giving him a hand/blow job, but I don't always want to, for various reasons, and now I feel awkward about doing anything at all if I'm not in the mood for doing something that would get him off. Thank you for your help!

The Great No-Orgasm-From-Intercourse Conundrum

Anonymous asks:

I'm 18, female and my boyfriend and I had no previous sexual relationships. I've been engaging in intercourse about a month now, and I was wondering why I haven't orgasmed yet. I've been able to orgasm through masturbation but not with my boyfriend doing the work. What do you think is wrong? Is it normal? Or are we just too inexperienced? If so how do I tell my boyfriend about it?

To have sex or not to have sex: that's the question.

Eoin asks:

I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.

I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.

First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):

Too wet for good friction?

kristopolis asks:

I'm a female college sophomore & started having partnersex fairly recently, around May. So far it's been a wonderful experience but within the past six weeks or so my partner has had difficulty climaxing because my vagina gets so wet he loses sensation. To be honest, it doesn't feel as great for me either when I'm totally sopping and lose all sense of friction! We've never used condoms (we're both STI-free & I'm on the Pill) and never had a need for lubricant. I know that your amount of vaginal secretion has a lot to do with where you are in your cycle, as well as being aroused...I'm just not really sure what to do about this. Obviously, it's not something I can control but I've started to get so nervous during sex that I'm going to get "too" wet that I can't climax either! And that isn't much fun at all. Is this a problem that other girls have? And how would you recommend dealing with it? Thank you so much.

I can't get her to reach orgasm, and I really want her to.

Anonymous asks:

I was directed to this site by a friend of mine and I'm really impressed in the amount of information and real life questions that are answered. I've had a few things on my mind that I just can't seem to figure out so I guess this is one the best place to ask.

I am 19 years old and my partner is 18. We have been dating for almost 8 months and are very much in love. We have been sexually active for the past few months, and we were both virgins. We have only used condoms during sex because my partner hasn't had time to make an appointment to get a prescription to go on "the pill" We are hoping to have her start soon (within the month if things go as planned) We have been very careful when we have sex. We make sure the condom is on properly and that both of us are sufficiently lubed before there is any penetration. We have had a few scares, but it just turned out to be us over reacting over a late period (but I bet we aren't the only ones who have done that). We have been through a lot together and have shared so much with each other in the time we have been together. I never force her to do anything sexually if she doesn't want to. I respect her mind and body like it should be.

We have had some really great experiences sexually but there are some things that are starting to bother me.

Best place to ejaculate?

help asks:

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a few months and are thinking of having sex, but we both know it's going to be a while still because we're both too young.

But when the time comes I was wondering, if I want to withdraw before I orgasm, where should I ejaculate, that is if I'm not wearing a condom, which I'll probably be wearing anyways! But like I said if not where would be the best place? I know that in porn movies it's always on the face but I think that would be weird?

Seven Ways to Love Your Body

This is not another diet guide. It will not show you how to lose ten pounds by Thanksgiving. It will not introduce you to a new set of "miracle ab crunches" or rave about the latest liposuction advances. And there will be no butt pads, silicone, or fat-free recipes to share.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.