I was wondering exactly what "blue-balls" meant for guys. My boyfriend mentioned it recently when he was complaining that I didn't go all the way when we were messing around. (I was touching him inside of his pants, but didn't give him a full-out hand job or oral, so he didn't "get off.") Although I understand the basic concept of painful internal pressure building up because of no outlet, what I was wondering was just how much of a problem this is: is it very likely to happen to him or not? There wouldn't be any more than an hour between arousal and an opportunity for him to jack off, and, to me, it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue since he does so regularly, which, as for my understanding of the matter, would keep the pressure relatively low. I know it didn't happen to him that day, because I asked him a couple of days later, but now it's sort-of in the back of my mind when we're hanging out. Now I'm nervous about getting him turned on, because I feel pressured to do more than that. Its not like I have problems with giving him a hand/blow job, but I don't always want to, for various reasons, and now I feel awkward about doing anything at all if I'm not in the mood for doing something that would get him off. Thank you for your help!

I'm 18, female and my boyfriend and I had no previous sexual relationships. I've been engaging in intercourse about a month now, and I was wondering why I haven't orgasmed yet. I've been able to orgasm through masturbation but not with my boyfriend doing the work. What do you think is wrong? Is it normal? Or are we just too inexperienced? If so how do I tell my boyfriend about it?

I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.

I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.

First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):

I was directed to this site by a friend of mine and I'm really impressed in the amount of information and real life questions that are answered. I've had a few things on my mind that I just can't seem to figure out so I guess this is one the best place to ask.

I am 19 years old and my partner is 18. We have been dating for almost 8 months and are very much in love. We have been sexually active for the past few months, and we were both virgins. We have only used condoms during sex because my partner hasn't had time to make an appointment to get a prescription to go on "the pill" We are hoping to have her start soon (within the month if things go as planned) We have been very careful when we have sex. We make sure the condom is on properly and that both of us are sufficiently lubed before there is any penetration. We have had a few scares, but it just turned out to be us over reacting over a late period (but I bet we aren't the only ones who have done that). We have been through a lot together and have shared so much with each other in the time we have been together. I never force her to do anything sexually if she doesn't want to. I respect her mind and body like it should be.

We have had some really great experiences sexually but there are some things that are starting to bother me. I will try my hardest (as in I will work as long as I can) to help her reach orgasm, but she just can't seem to. Not once have I managed to make her climax during vaginal or oral sex. The most recent time She came very close, but just as she was about to peak she went back to just a "heightened" level of arousal. I've tried everything I could think of to help her. I've preformed oral sex on her as well as even used a vibrating device on her clitoris. Nothing seems to work. Could this be because she's not completely comfortable with me? She thinks because she was so used to masturbating with her legs closed that she's become accustomed to that. Is this a possibility?

I have read in various places that some girls cannot seem to orgasm with a partner. It would mean so much to me (and her) if I could get her to. I have also heard that some girls can orgasm more easily with anal sex. At first I didn't want to try that, but now I've been wondering about it. My girlfriend always seems so turned off at the idea and every time I talk to her about it she either tells me "some day maybe we will" or just straight out "no". I don't want to force her into it, but I don't want the option totally closed.She seems afraid that it will hurt. I can understand that because, well.. the anus wasn't meant for things to go in. I have talked to a friend who had just tried anal sex for the first time and she said it didn't hurt and that she actually enjoyed it. I know that we would need lube. We have lots. But really what I would like to know is, can anal sex help some girls orgasm and what are some of the risks and dangers involved in anal sex? Is there a specific position that's safer then others? I want to learn as much as I can about this so that if we decide to try it we're not going into the room blind.

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for a few months and are thinking of having sex, but we both know i'ts going to be a while still because were both too young.

But when the time comes I was wondering, if I want to withdraw before I orgasm, where should I ejaculate, that is if I'm not wearing a condom, which I'll probably be wearing anyways! But like I said if not where would be the best place? I know that on porn movies it's always on the face but I think that would be weird?