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heteronormativity

Bodaciously Bad Advice: Standardized Testing?

In Bodaciously Bad Advice, a new regularly updated feature at Scarleteen, I look at some of the dating advice articles from glamour magazines and around the web. I find that most of these advice articles are heterocentric and endorse many gender stereotypes, in addition to just being really crappy dating advice. In deconstructing the articles, I hope to help you, the reader, see them for what they really are and learn to apply these skills of critical observation and thinking to other areas.

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Why is anal sex so wrong?

Teenie asks:

I have a question about anal sex. I hear from a lot of people that it's okay as long as your safe about it and consider health risks etc. But I've heard from many friends that it is shunned from society because it's just wrong to insert a penis there...that's where bowel movements are made! I've tried it once with my long time monogamous boyfriend of 2.5 years and it can be such a nice experience; just as nice as your first vaginal experience. I want to understand why it can be such a big deal...it would make me feel much better if I knew what was actually wrong with it.

I look at this way: if you've never tried sushi before, and you look at it and think that it's gross, you'll never try it. It's like that with anal sex. If you look at it and you've never tried it before, you might think it looks gross or isn't a nice experience...but you'll never know unless you've tried it. Is that in anyway close to how I think about it? I wanna know why it's such a bad thing! THANK YOU!

I'm a guy, so how come I don't enjoy intercourse?

John asks:

My girlfriend and I care about each other very much. recently we had decided to become sexually active. She has had previous partners though she was my first. She says that I satisfy her, though I have honestly told her she does not satisfy me. I told her it doesnt matter but she is very upset and I am myself bewildered. How can I not enjoy intercourse? Especially considering its a new and exciting experience?

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