help

My rape is stuck in my head: what do I do to get it out?

anonymous
asks:
This is an odd question, and I really hope I don't disturb anyone here, it's not my intention. Anyway, I'm 16, and I've been raped, about a month ago. I'm kinda going nuts here, it's being sorted out legally. I'm not pregnant, I don't have any infections, and the guy's arrested, and I could really care less about the incident, except it's really stuck in my head. I guess this isn't sexual......

Respect!

"So why do I harp all day about respect, and write books and blogs about it? Because I want every girl to reach her potential. I want every girl to value herself more than all the bling in the world. I want every girl to be safe and to heal from the bad-dark stuff that happens. I want every girl to discover what one of my teacher's calls your "soul wisdom." In other words, I want you to know the real you and to be all in love with you. I want you to know how to stand by and for you. Then you can spread your yummy amazingness to the world. The world *needs* you to make it. It needs you to blow the lid off this mutha (in your own way, of course)! And it starts with respect on the inside." - Courtney Macavinta, co-author

My best friend was raped: what can I do for her?

Suze
asks:
First off, thank you for this site. It's wonderful. Now, I'm a just-graduated senior, and my best friend went with a big group to Florida for their senior trip. She called me wasted and crying, upset and saying that this guy I'll call E wanted to have sex with her, she told him no, and he did it anyway. His side of the story was that she didn't protest. Sounds like rape, right?...

Win-win

I had an abortion in my early twenties.

It was not easy to afford. I was working 60 hours a week, in a fledgling business with a lot of overhead expenses. I was fresh out of a college education I had paid for myself, and was also caring for a parent at the time. There were no resources through public health in Chicago I could use to help with the expense. My partner was pitching in for half, but all the same, coming up with four hundred dollars was an additional struggle during an experience which was already challenging without any financial issues at play.

Pandora's Aquarium

An online support group, message board, and chat room for rape and sexual abuse survivors with 24/7 peer support, access to links and resources, so no one ever needs to feel alone.

Was my friend implying I brought my rape on myself?

Jessica
asks:
I have been raped on several occasion throughout my youth. I am just now, as a 22-year-old woman dealing with these. My friend recently said to me, "Well since it happened to you once, then you are more susceptible to it happening again." It really offended me to hear this, and I wanted to know if it seems unfair to me to get upset....

Bingo!

According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute and other reliable sources, a sexually active young adult who does not use contraceptives has around a 90% chance of becoming pregnant within just one year. That's not a new statistic or anything a lot of people don't know, but it's one that makes clear how important it is for sexually active teens to find, have and use a birth control method which works for them.

How You Guys -- that's right, you GUYS -- Can Prevent Rape

Rape is often framed as about women, but it's not. Something done TO us really isn't about us. It's the things that we choose to do which are about us, which is why it's such an error for rape to be framed as a women's issue or about women: it's almost always a men's issue and really about men. Find out what men need to know about rape and rapists, what you can do to be sure you have consent with sex, other ways to help with rape prevention, and why your help is so important.