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I'd like to direct this question to Hanne Blank. I am Chassidishe, (I know, I shouldn't be on the internet) but needed to find something out that I can't ask my Rav (or anyone on Askmoses for that matter, especially since I know quite a few of their scholars). Does a person say Mazal Tov to an unwed mother? Jewish, maybe not frum, or even worse, a teen mother (again Jewish, VERY FRUM...)? I recently found out that my friend, age 14, was pushed against her will to have intercourse with one of her brother's "frum" friends (age 20ish). She is now pregnant, and doesn't know how to handle it. She is not sure how to tell her mother. Does one say B"sha'ah Tova to her? I don't want to say the wrong thing, and want to help her in her time of need. I have a non-frum friend who is a teen mom going through her third pregnancy. Her parents disowned her. I now am convincing my mom to take her in with her kids. Should I start asking her about taking my other friend in now? I know that the mother would probably disown her if she found out.
I'm a 18 year-old male. I was raped twice in my life (6 and 10 years old) and I took it pretty well. My life was quite normal until now, and had no problems with girls. I never had a girlfriend, never been the type who commit, but I'd had a lot of sex with a lot of girls. Two weeks ago I had contact with the man who attacked me when I was 10. Since then I've having nightmares and have been remembering all what happened. I've been drinking and went back to drugs. I wouldn't want to, but it's the only way I can get some rest. Last weekend happened something that really scared me. I was drunk and high and without noticing I found myself rubbing a guy's leg. I pretty much wanted to make out with him and other stuff. I can't become gay, it's not fear I hate myself so much, I hate the pervert who abused me, I hate everything right now. Yesterday I cut my wrists but it wasn't deep enough. I don't want to die but I find hard living right now. This evening I cut my face. What happened the weekend means I'm gay? Am I becoming gay? What can I do to prevent it? How can I stop remembering? It's just too embarrassing to talk to anybody. If I was a girl I could do it, but come on, I'm a man. Men don't let these things happen. I'm just trash.
What should I do if I think I am pregnant but I don't want my mum or dad knowing?
I recently turned 24 and I have never been in a real relationship. I am in love with my best friend, with whom I have had a very interesting and painful 4 year friendship. He took my virginity at the age of 21, and he is one of 2.5 guys I have slept with; he is the only one I have hooked up with more than a couple times. He has cheated on two different girl friends with me, and he tells me he loves me but he has always been very clear that he will never be in a relationship with me. I have asked him a couple of times why. After a lot of beginning, he finally gave me list of everything that is physically and mentally wrong with me.
While out of town this weekend, between two plane trips and a couple late evenings up reading, I started and polished off Elliott Currie's The Road to Whatever: Middle-Class Culture and the Crisis of Adolescence in very short order.Read more...
This is an odd question, and I really hope I don't disturb anyone here, it's not my intention. Anyway, I'm 16, and I've been raped, about a month ago. I'm kinda going nuts here, it's being sorted out legally. I'm not pregnant, I don't have any infections, and the guy's arrested, and I could really care less about the incident, except it's really stuck in my head. I guess this isn't sexual... but, it sort of of is, so I decided to pose it here. I have dreams about my rape, every night I can remember dreaming. It's really starting to mess with my brain, and I've broken down crying more than once, which is bringing me close to insanity in its own sense.
Am I going to need therapy, or some skitzo drugs, or something? I really don't want to be crazy over this, I just want to move on, get past High School, and get a life. I talked to my dad about it, and he said his dad had something similar, like a severe form of PTSD after he got back from serving in Vietnam (or Korea, I forget... We were talking about -my- insanity, sorry, I forget). Said his dad had flashbacks sometimes, which I guess would qualify for these dreams. I know you guys aren't psychiatrists, so I won't bore you with the specifics; it's just like a replay of the rape, over and over. Sometimes a few things are different, sometimes I'm watching it happen, sometimes it's just how it happened.
Am I insane, or unstable, or just having nightmares? Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask it, but a friend of mine said the help here was really cool, but I mean, I don't know if you guys do stuff past pregnancy scares and diseases all that. -- Abba