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For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on my imagining my own pain and humiliation. I am going out with someone for the first time now, and we've been together for almost eight months. Recently we've started experimenting with very mild SM-type things--tying each other up, biting, spanking. I love it, and so does he. But is this normal? Should I be worried that this turns me on more than anything else we've done together? Is there something wrong with me? (I've never been abused). And can I still be a feminist if I get off on being dominated by men?
It seems as if girls at my school are very experienced sexually. They all talk about hooking up, giving head, getting head, getting fingered, and all that sort of thing. I, having never even kissed a boy or had a boyfriend, feel a bit left behind. I wanted to know if most girls my age, 15 (like on average), have had sexual experience like this.
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly six months now. I've always had a bit of a problem having sex with people (keeping it up) but this problem has never occurred between me and her. However, lately I've begun to feel very guilty about the physical action of having sex. The act of penetration is a great experience physically, but when I think about what I'm doing I feel like I'm stabbing her, or performing some kind of violent act on her. We haven't had sex yet since I started REALLY feeling like this (which was a little more than three weeks ago) but if we are making out and begin to have dry sex I often start to cry from the idea of what I am doing to her. She's very compassionate and understanding, and I have told her all of this, but I want it to stop. I need to know how to make myself stop feeling like I am abusing her when we have sex because considering the times we've had sex before I had this mindset, it's been an incredible experience of expressing our love to each other, and I'd really like to have that back.
I lied to my boyfriend and told him I was raped. I know rape is nothing to joke about at all. My mother was raped as a child. But it is the first thing that came to mind! He's always trying to get me to have sex with him, and I'm just not ready. He's not the kind of guy you can just sit down with and explain that too..that's just not him and hes a virgin..but he does get "head" sometimes. (Not while I've been with him of course..] But anyway I told him I was raped and that I'm not ready to have sex after that happened to me and that it scares me because it will remind me of what happened. Well, that lie got old and now he's starting to ask me again and again. What do I tell him ? I'm stressing over this and hes not the kind of guy I can just say "I'm not ready to do this..or that" to. Please help. I'm young, only 14 and hes 15 but..what to do ?!
I am in the predicament of wanting a man to hold me but suspecting that I have not yet mastered my ability to honor my boundaries. When I have asked men to just hold me, they never keep their word, and after becoming turned on from the contact, I lose the will to turn down their advances. These men have had partners, or condemned monogamous relationships, and so sex complicates things emotionally.
Also, all my sexually active life I have been dealing with what my gynecologist recently characterized as vaginismus. So even though I get turned on while cuddling, my vagina rejects a man’s penis. I have to do anal and/or oral, which increasingly fails to completely satisfy the man nor me. Afterward I tend to feel inadequate, used, and defective, especially if I don’t hear from the man again. Not to sound cliché’ but I need human contact! Masturbation doesn’t offer the comfort and security of relaxing in a man’s arms. Maybe I should just ask a female friend to hold me. But the same thing could happen with her. I am almost 23 years old. How do I learn to exercise self restraint, so this cycle will end?
I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no. Well, he kept doing this for two years, and we broke up a couple times over it. He'd always just apologize and say he wouldn't ask again. But then one day we went fishing together and he brought a blanket (which I thought was sweet....) and a condom. And he asked again.
I am 23 years old and I am extremely self conscious about vaginal odor. I don't like my boyfriend to perform oral sex because I am so worried that I smell bad. I scrub and scrub my genitals in the shower but an hour later the smell is back. When I asked my OB/GYN about it he said that he would check me for STD's but never explained anything to me. I haven't had an STD ever and I have had this since I was 13, what is it? How do I know if its normal? Please help!
Recently my girlfriend and I have become more sexually active. We've agreed not to have intercourse, but to do everything else. Along with our discussions came the issue of masturbation. We both do it, but she never achieves orgasm through it. She hates that I do it, although I've explained it is natural and healthy for guys and does not affect anything we do and does not make her less important. I do not know really how to approach the issue to make her feel better.
One of the nation’s top violence prevention organizations today launched an unprecedented new initiative to raise awareness about a kind of abuse that is rarely discussed, but has severe consequences. The Family Violence Prevention Fund’s (FVPF’s) kNOw More initiative examines the reproductive health consequences of sexual coercion and violence, which include unintended pregnancy, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections, miscarriage, infertility, coerced abortion, and a range of other serious health issues. kNOw More is designed to start a dialogue about the birth control sabotage and reproductive coercion that many teens and young women face, and help draw the link to the reproductive health problems it causes. Its website is www.KnowMoreSayMore.org.
New research conducted for the initiative by Child Trends finds that some 18 percent of women age 18 to 24 report having experienced forced sexual intercourse at least once in their lives. Child Trends used data from the 2002Read more...
A bosom buddy is someone very near and dear, with who you can share your most intense feelings and difficult challenges. Also known as “bosom friends,” the term is a bit antiquated and the wording not embraced by all; however, just Shakespeare said “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” a true friendship is special and unique regardless of what you call it.
Can such friendship start to sour? According to a recent New York Times article entitled “Talking is Good; Too Much Talking May Not Be” by Sarah Kershaw, this intense sharing can become more negative than positive. Some researchers studying the nature of female friendships believe that friends' excessive dwelling on their emotional difficulties can lead to additional challenges, such as anxiety and depression. Referred to as “co-rumination,” the article gives examples such as “Why didn’t he call?” and “Should I break up with him?” as such so-called obsessive discussions. These researchers also believe that technologicRead more...