Skip to main content

girls

The Sex Goddess Blues: Building Sexual Confidence, Busting Perfectionism

Many women and girls feel insecure about sex in one way or another, especially when it's new. Why do we feel this way? How can we build some sexual confidence? How do we figure out what we want and ask for it from our partners?

If Guys are Coerced by Girls, Is It Still Sexual Abuse?

arielleknowles asks:

A friend of mine was in a relationship about 2 years ago. He's a guy. His girlfriend at the time pressured him into doing oral sex by saying that if he didn't do it that meant he didn't love her. Would that be sexual abuse? Because if a guy pressured a girl into giving him a blow job that would be considered sexual abuse and I'm just double-checking to see if that goes both ways.

Consent (and other social conundrums) When Clubbing

Dylan19 asks:

I am a 19 year old guy and I have a question both about club etiquette and general advice. I have gone to nightclubs/pubs a few times with my friends and on the dance floor sometimes girls seem to stand very close to me and seem to be "inviting me" or waiting for me to make some kind of move (everyone tells me, and I suspect its true). Occasionally they even rub up against me with their bum and such. I usually try to escape or pretend it didn't happen because I just get TOO nervous. Later, I kick myself because half the time it's a girl I find attractive and would be interested in either getting to know or having some kind of frisky contact with on the dance floor. One of the things is I am terrified of moving badly or out of rhythm, of doing something awkward. My friends are all kinda fed up with me as I ask them about their encounters and seem to pass up any potential encounter I could have out of nerves or fear. They think I'm kinda 'living through them' by not doing anything myself. I'm also wondering about consent. If a girl dances up to me and rubs against me, that shows interest but isn't 100% consent, so how can I put my arms around her or dance close to her but ask? It's hard to ask because of loud music, maybe running away as I do is the best option.

Decoding Sex in the Media: Why the Media Should Leave Kate Middleton's Baby Bump (And Everyone Else's) Alone

On Monday, July 22nd, England’s beloved Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, gave birth to a son—Prince George Alexander Louis. This child, dubbed the “Royal Baby” by news sources across the globe, garnered an enormous amount of media attention and sparked world-wide conversations. Reporters—and a few independent enthusiasts—have already traced the monarchial origins of the name. Jo Frost, widely known as the “Supernanny” from her reality TV show, publically offered the royal parents her child-rearing advice. A small, vociferous internet group has argued that the Duke and Duchess shouldn’t assign their child a gender, but wait until s/he chooses a gender for him/herself.

But throughout this newsworthy affair, the public spotlight has not strayed from Kate: in fact, media scrutiny of the new mother has intensified.

Before she had even left the hospital, the United Kingdom’s edition of OK! magazine published a “Royal Baby Special,” which included bright, punchy headlines promoting “Kat

Read more...

It Was Fun, and I Want to Tell My Friends, But....

Secret_girl asks:

I was with this guy down at the beach late in the night and we started to hook up. It got a bit heated and asked me if I wanted to try something new. I said yes (I consented). He started to eat me out following with me giving him oral.

I'm scared that if I tell any of my friends I'll get judged. Girls are like that these days :( It's not like I regret it or anything. To be honest, I enjoyed it. I'm just afraid because there is so many labels being thrown around.

How do I find out if I'm bi, or not?

Pandas_Arecute asks:

Hi! I am a 15 year old female and I think I may be bisexual, I have talked to a couple friends (who are straight) that I trust, They either said "It's just a phase don't worry" Or "There is only one way to know and that is to have sex/kiss another female." But I don't know any lesbian girls to do that with! I'm pretty sure it's NOT a phase but I need to know how to find out if I'm bi or not. My school/parents are not very accepting of lesbians, bi's and gays, so I wouldn't be able to talk to my parents. Another thing is I'm secretly sort of wanting to do something with a girl. Please help me!I feel so lost!

Has My Penis Stopped Growing?

HatesSnickers asks:

I am 23, almost 24 years old now, but when I was in 7th and 8th grade and even in 9th grade; when my schools talked about sex education, I learned that a man’s penis size is not set in stone; and will more than likely continue growing until about age 20 or so, sometimes earlier and sometime later. Regardless, the size of a man’s penis can also grow after achieving its’ ‘full’ length by how much blood is circulating within the penis at that point in time. However, as with most Junior and Senior High Schools, we never covered anything past that.

I know that there is no magic pill and the only way to increase a man’s size is through painful surgery(expensive surgery that only adds anywhere from one to two inches of length once preformed). This is my problem; and as embarrassing as it is to even mention to anyone else; I feel that it needs a bit of attention, and not just for myself.

Is it entirely possible for someone to mature sexually before they have finished growing? For instance: I was seven years old when I began having dreams that would make the normal teenage boy feel like he was watching a skimpy swimsuit special on TV. I was twelve years old when those dreams turned from swimsuit TV shows to something you’d find from a soft core distributor-that was also when I found out that the Pipe worked as it was intended to.

I have seemed to have sped through those stages of life mentally…But physically, it seems that I have loped off several years of growth. My penis has been the same size as it’s been since I was twelve. If it has grown; I have not noticed it. Of course, I didn’t think much of it until I was in 10th grade and in the locker room at school after a Weight Lifting class I had opted for at the beginning of the semester. I was changing from my workout garb to my school garb, when a kid; shorter than me in general height, walked out of the shower and started flaunting his naked body to the whole class bragging that he had the largest Pipe in the Box. It made me wonder…Did some people mature faster than others to the point that they weren’t going to grow anymore?

As stated before, I know that there are no pills or magic drugs/exercises that will enlarge someone’s penis size; but when the thought of trying to find a girlfriend who doesn’t care about the size of one’s penis makes me feel like I’m staring down the barrel of a loaded 12 gauge shotgun(something I have done before) it makes it incredibly difficult to move forward with my life. Plus, it’s not exactly something one would want to advertise about while looking for a girlfriend; you know?

I'm 14 and sure my boyfriend wants sex: but is now the right time?

Hannah0035 asks:

Hi I am 14 years old and me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months on the 20th... we're mostly all teenagers here and young adults and can tell that guys want more than just make-outs, hugs and kisses they want sex... I wouldn't have a problem having sex with him. I am pretty sure he is still a virgin by 99.9% and I am also still a virgin and was wondering when the best time it would be to have sex, where and I am nervous that I will mess up some how.... Help please??

How are we supposed to know what’s wrong if we don’t know what’s right?

Sade is 17 and works as a youth activist for YWCHAC, a program for and by young women of color that helps foster their development in advocacy training while providing them with the skills to be effective peer-educators to youth on the subject of sexual health. Their mission is to address the increasing rates of HIV infection in young women of color ages 13-24. Sade does a lot of community outreach and events that help develop partnerships with individuals and organizations that have similar goals, events like annual sexual health summits, safer sex education parties, advocacy and STD (STI) workshops, and other community projects.

I got the chance to ask Sade about what she does, why she does it, and what she thinks about some of the issues that impact HIV and young women. I've shortcut my own questions to give her words the spotlight, because she's got some phenomenal things to say that so many people really, really need to listen to.

On what she wants people to know about young wome

Read more...

The Young Women's Empowerment Project

The mission of the Young Women’s Empowerment Project is to offer safe, respectful, free-of-judgment spaces for girls and young women impacted by the sex trade and street economies to recognize their goals, dreams and desires.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.