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gender identity

As a trans person, how can I navigate authentic gender expression and avoid the identity police?

catpaw asks:

I'm a 17 year old transmale and I've identified as male for about 2 years now. I am 100% confident that I am a boy, but I am also fine having breasts and a vagina. I don't think of them as female. They're just my parts! I like wearing things like dresses and skirts as well and I enjoy makeup, none of these things make me less of a boy in my eyes. However, I fear that people will not take my identity seriously because of this. Even in the LGBTQ community, I feel like people will say I'm not "really trans." Dressing the way I want to really boosts my self-esteem (and I have struggled with horrible self esteem my whole life, so I really need it) but being called "girl" and "she" really hurts. I guess my question is, how do I deal with wanting to present a certain way but hating how it makes others perceive me? I will be going off to college in a few days as well, and I know that could be a time to show how I really want to be, but I'm scared of how people will react or treat me.

My girlfriend says she loves me, but doesn't want to be sexual with me now that I'm transitioning.

praying-for-a-miracle asks:

I'm transgender. My girlfriend has supported me from the time we got together, celebrating my "transliness", even finding tips to help me transition easier. When I got my packer, she laughed at it and asked me to take it off. I felt humiliated, but did so. Ever since then, she begs me to take it off if we start to become intimate. (The term there is "if"; our intimacy has been on a steady decline ever since then.) Now that I'm on testosterone, she's shying away even more. It seems that being able to afford a decent quality binder has really halted anything. She's even refusing to kiss me more than once or lay against me. A few nights ago she said that something was bothering her and to not get offended. She admitted that she is a lesbian, and only got with me originally because I was female bodied. She says that she's fallen completely in love with me, but is no longer sexually attracted to me unless I take my packer and/or binder off. She coaxes the binder off by offering a back massage. (Seeing as I have pulled every muscle in my back and slipped 2 discs, I can't refuse.) I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm humiliated. She says that she will always love me, but is sexually frustrated. She doesn't want to leave me because she loves me, but would rather have sex with a girl. Any advice or..?

I am a straight girl, but wish I could be with a gay guy.

Majani asks:

I am a girl, but I wish I was a gay boy. Let me start off by saying, I am a straight girl. I know for a fact that I'm not trans. I am a girl, I was born a girl and I don't think I was born in the wrong body. I am comfortable in my body. But recently I find myself looking up anything gay related on the internet. Gay love stories and short videos on youtube, most of my favourite couples on TV shows are usually the gay ones; and not girl on girl. For some reason; I don't like seeing girl on girl, but I love seeing guys together. I think it's more like I'm jealous of gay relationships. How can I be a straight girl who likes boys, but enjoy and sometimes envy gay relationships. I'm just a bit confused about myself is all. What does it mean? Why am I like this?

You, Them and a U-Haul: Considering Cohabitation

Are you at a point in your life and relationship where you're considering moving in with a partner? We've got the scoop on some things to consider, talk through and get going in advance to be sure that if you make the move to shack up, it's a good one.

How can I help my trans partner with a medical transition?

myself5 asks:

Okay, so I'm a female high school junior. There's this girl (sweet, geeky, smart, funny, the works) that I may soon be starting a sexual relationship with. She's trans and just started taking hormones. Currently she's male, but eventually, her "outie" will become an "innie," so to speak. I've heard mixed things about this surgery, and I don't know if she'll be able to feel things the same way afterward. She's very sexual, and obviously I want to be able to do stuff with her, so this is a big concern. What will the aftermath of the surgery be like? What are the risks of the procedure? What can I do to help her get through this?

Help! I think I'm trapped in the wrong body...

Anonymous asks:

I feel very awkward asking this question. I am a 13 year old girl, and I feel like I'm trapped inside my own body. I have never told anyone about this before, and I'm really confused. Are there certain ways to tell if you're transgender or not? I feel like I'm more attracted to guys, but I sometimes have thoughts about girls too. I'm a little young to figure it out on my own, but I've watched my fair share of those sex-change shows. I also feel like I go on the Internet a lot, because there I am anonymous, and I can say I'm a boy. I know the works of sex, so you don't need to tiptoe around the answer. I couldn't even imagine telling anyone I know about this problem. I feel like puberty is hitting, and it's hitting hard. I can't stand having boobs, it makes me feel even more uncomfortable. Another awkward question. Is there some kind of strap-on penis that is wearable? If so, could you provide detail? I really appreciate you listening to this. It was really hard for me to say, because I feel like I've been lying to myself, and repressing these feelings. Thank you.

I'm a Straight Girl, but Wish I Were a Gay Guy...

Leahcar asks:

I'm a straight 20-year-old girl who lately can't get the idea out of my head that I wish sooo much that I'd been born a gay boy instead. I'm not sexually active right now at all (have had 2 partners in the past but nothing for over a year) and it's pretty frustrating because I miss it. To compensate, I finally got the guts to look at some porn over the internet, but never with any girls - just (male) gay. In fact, seeing girls almost always totally turns me off and I really can't stand the moans of a female. What I like most is seeing "gay for pay" - straight guys who engage in gay sexual activities for money for websites. I've also become obsessed with finding gay-themed movies posted in parts by YouTube users. I'm a huge sucker for coming out stories or tales of experimentation and love and romance, both in full-length movies and short films. I've also realized how much more pleasure it seems a man can get from his penis than I can from my vagina. I mean, guys can jack off for like over 20 minutes sometimes before they orgasm, all the while feeling some sort of pleasure, and the same when receiving a blowjob (which, for the most part, I think guys can give better than girls). When I try to masturbate, it usually lasts less than a minute, it seems, and sometimes nothing even works. I don't think I ever orgasmed during intercourse in any of the times I had it. I hate practically everything about my body anyway, but after watching so many guys get off I just really wish I had a penis...

Girl + girl = pregnant?

Anonymous asks:

If a girl and a girl have sex, can they get pregnant?

Questioning gender identity in mainstream media

Reading mainstream “teen girl magazines” can feel like opening a can of worms to conscientious readers: on one hand, they’re quick, colorful, and fun to flip through; on the other, they support the status quo, with “meaningful” articles stuck between page upon page of boyfriend tips and beauty ads. What’s a girl (or guy or genderqueer person) to do?!?

Read more...

Boys Will Be Boys...or Not? Straight Talk About Gender

The author of this article is Malcolm Gin, who identifies as a 31-year old intergendered person. In this article, Malcolm explains a great deal about sex, gender, gender identity, and what you can do if you find out (or worry) that you might not be "normal" in terms of your own gender identity. Read on, and find out what it's like to be a "boy" who isn't actually a boy, and what life can be like for people with non-standard gender identity.

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