Skip to main content
Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.
I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.
This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.
A couple of years ago I was over at my best friends house and we were in her living room ready to go to sleep and we were just talking and she asked me if I masturbate and I told her I did and then she started to rub her clitoris and then she started to rub mine. After that she asked me if I had ever kissed a girl and I said no then we started to make out and stuff. I know I'm not a lesbian but what we did was a lot of fun, is this normal for girls to do this sort of stuff together?
I've noticed that I never really feel sexually attracted to anyone solely on the basis of how they look. I can find people aesthetically attractive. I'm not asexual, though-- I CAN be sexually attracted to people, it's just that I can't be particularly attracted to anyone unless I know what their personalities are like. So, my question is whether I should be considering myself bi, gay, pan, or... what. I realize that this may not be entirely the right forum for this question, but I seriously don't know anywhere else to ask.
My friend Chanel is a tomboy but isn't sure she likes girls because she isn't sure of herself what should I tell her or what should I do to make her come out her shell?
I was wondering exactly what "blue-balls" meant for guys. My boyfriend mentioned it recently when he was complaining that I didn't go all the way when we were messing around. (I was touching him inside of his pants, but didn't give him a full-out hand job or oral, so he didn't "get off.") Although I understand the basic concept of painful internal pressure building up because of no outlet, what I was wondering was just how much of a problem this is: is it very likely to happen to him or not? There wouldn't be any more than an hour between arousal and an opportunity for him to jack off, and, to me, it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue since he does so regularly, which, as for my understanding of the matter, would keep the pressure relatively low. I know it didn't happen to him that day, because I asked him a couple of days later, but now it's sort-of in the back of my mind when we're hanging out. Now I'm nervous about getting him turned on, because I feel pressured to do more than that. Its not like I have problems with giving him a hand/blow job, but I don't always want to, for various reasons, and now I feel awkward about doing anything at all if I'm not in the mood for doing something that would get him off. Thank you for your help!
I heard about a male birth control pill a few years ago but have not heard anything about it since. Does it even exist? Other than the condom, I feel like it's always the woman's responsibility. I know that the consequences of unprotected sex are heavier for women but I would love it if it wasn't always the woman who had to throw her body out of whack by taking birth control. That said, the pill and other hormonal birth control methods all seem to have some health risk involved (increased breast cancer risk, cardiovascular risk, etc.) I know we need to protect ourselves, but it seems extreme to take all these health risks to avoid pregnancy (considering the fact that many people who use birth control do not even use a condom or protection against STIs). I just think that if a man loved a woman, he would not want her to increase her risk of certain health problems by taking the pill. Is the condom really a dependable method for someone like me who refuses to take hormonal birth control? There are just so many choices to make when becoming sexually active.