first time

Virginity: Written all over her face?

CuriousX asks:

Is there any way to see if the girl is still a virgin? By looking at her face closely? Or any changes in her?

How can I make my first time special?

Sarah M. asks:

Having read several of your articles concerning "first time" sex, I understand that it may not (and probably won't be?) everything I'm expecting, and that you're "first time" isn't as big a deal as society makes it seem. But I would really like my first time to be special. Not necessarily perfect, but an event in my life I can look back on fondly. Is there anything I can do/should know that would make it more special?

By the way, I think this site and what you do here is awesome, and I am so so grateful that this resource is available. Keep it up!

Can birth control cause dryness?

adele27 asks:

Can my birth control be drying me out? My boyfriend and I have tried to have sex 3 times and we can't get it in. Should I switch my birth control?

I'm ready, but I can't figure out if she is.

Travis asks:

Me and my girlfriend are virgins and are 16. We have been dating for about ten months and are getting curious about sex. She asked if I was ready and I told her I don't know because she's not sure and I'm not sure what to do. She will say that she wants to but turn around and say no. I just don't want her to lose her virginity and regret everything else that we do for the first time. I haven't even seen or touched anything yet, so I guess that leaves me some room, if I get that far without confirmation. I love her so much but I want to do it so bad. There's something stopping her and I don't know how to express myself . I guess she is scared because it might hurt and she does not know what she is doing and she doesn't want to upset me.

Bisexual backfire?

Mike asks:

Well, there's a lot going on in my life lately and well, I'm needing help with something. I'm a 20-year-old bisexual male. Here's my problem. I recently broke up with my girlfriend, with whom I had a very long relationship. We started our relationship as virgins, and well, I still am. She had issues with sex and well it was never an issue for me, it wasn't even one of the reasons why I broke up with her, she thinks it was but . . it really wasn't. A couple of weeks ago I met a guy and, well, one thing lead to another and we had the opportunity to have sexual contact. And well, here's where the problem starts. I wasn't able to get an erection. Yes, quite embarrassing trust me. I think that due to my age it is next to impossible that I have an erectile dysfunction problem so I'm thinking it is all psychological. Is it possible that I'm so used to repressing my sexual needs due to my previous relationship that it is affecting my current one? Or is it possible that his way of dealing with foreplay is just not getting me "turned on"? There's no rush to answer my question but I'd love it if you still took the time to answer it. I do understand that you probably get flooded with dozens and dozens of questions every day! Thanks!!

He's so perfect, and I feel too self-concious for intimacy!

Abagail_Rose asks:

I am overweight by about 30lbs, so I do have some extra "baggage". Anyway, most likely, this weight isn't going any where, because I've tried many times, and failed many times. So the problem is, my boyfriend and I have been dating for some time now, and he really is wanting to have sex (and it's not just him, I do too). However, I am too intimidated - he's got like this perfect body - tan, slim and works out a lot, and me, pale in areas, and like I said overweight. If anyone has any advice please tell me how I can overcome my unpleasant feeling of self-consciousness and be able to give into him for once (or I'm gonna be stuck with keeping my shirt on during the whole thing).

Am I pregnant? (And, why feeling you have to lie and go without protection isn't okay.)

worried like hell asks:

I had sex a few days after my period and I made sure it was over. I lied to my boyfriend bout it so that I had time to make sure it was clean. 3 weeks later I had my period. My periods are usually irregular so I figured it's okay. But I'm still so so worried. Please help! Could I be pregnant? I haven't been feeling anything at all and I've only done it once, just that night. No sperm came out either.

Will they know that I've had sex?

shilpa_86 asks:

Hi, I have lost my virginity 3 years back. I also had an abortion based on tablet method when I was 1 and half months pregnant. Will my anyone be able to detect that I lost my virginity if they have intercourse with me? Please help!

What's the best contraception for first time sex?

shanae asks:

Hi! I am a 15 year-old girl who has a concern about first time sex. During first time sex, which method of contraception is safer to use? Is it the condom?

Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?

Healthgirl02 asks:

I was given an assignment in health class, asking to get this question answered on your website. I know this is a very common question among teens and thought you could help me and my classmates out. I will be bringing your response to this question into class to discuss with other peers. The question is...Can I get pregnant the first time we do it without protection? I hope to hear back from you very soon considering this is an assignment I need to report back to my health class with this information as soon as possible.

First-time sex with a friend: is that wrong?

Elizabeth asks:

Hi. I'm 18 years old (female) and I've been talking about having sex with a guy friend of mine. I'm very inexperienced and so I'm pretty nervous about this. I don't want to do it and then regret it later. So I have couple questions i was hoping you could help me out with. First of all, if it's going to be my first time but not his should i have him get a STI test(and should i get one)? I feel a bit awkward asking him to because we're not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship - if you have any ideas on how i could bring this up to him that would be great. I don't think he has an STI or anything but obviously i can't be sure. Secondly, since I'm inexperienced in the sex department and I'm a naturally shy person anyway how can i make myself more comfortable during any kind of sex? Thirdly, am I going to bleed all over the place since it is going to be my first time? On your site you have said that the bleeding is pretty light buy I am just wondering. Lastly, is it wrong to have sex with someone you're not in a relationship with? I feel comfortable with him and I know if we had sex it would be because we both wanted to - not because anyone was feeling pressure. Thanks so much for answering my questions! I really love your site - it has such great information!

I need to know EXACTLY how to have sex with my boyfriend.

Coolblue asks:

I love your site and need some advice.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. We are both seniors in high school. I am 19 years old and my boyfriend will soon turn 18. We are both virgins. We have talked about sex but have not done it. When we have it we both want it to be with someone we care about and want it special. We both agree that it is natural and can be beautiful if it is done for the sake of love. We kiss, pet, and have made out but not done it.

His 18th birthday falls on a Friday this year and I am having a birthday party for him. We will have some friends come over to celebrate. I have asked him what he wants for his birthday and he told me about a few non-sexual things that he would wish for. I think that he would really like to have sex on his 18th birthday. I know I would. My parents will be way on business for the weekend of the party. This seems like a great time to express our love to each other physically. I would like to give him the gift of sex for his birthday. I have several questions. Maybe you could answer them.

How do we make sure he puts the condom on right?

Brenda asks:

Me and my boyfriend are finally ready to have "an evening to ourselves." How do we make sure the condom is going to be unrolled on him the right way, since we don't wanna put it on wrong and waste money for what we bought.

How do I convince my partner it was normal?

Paul asks:

The other day my girlfriend (15) and I (17) were hooking up and I fingered her until orgasm, then we lay for a few and I fingered her again. And then she took off my pants and started to give me a handjob for the first time, the only thing is it had only been 10 minutes when she stopped and I never reached climax and never came. This was my first handjob ever and I was really nervous. Now she thinks that it is her fault because she thinks she was bad and that is the reason, now she is really embarrassed and I'm really afraid I may lose her. I've tried to tell her that she was not bad and that I was just really nervous however she thinks that I'm lying to her to try to make her feel better about her being bad (but she wasn't). What do I do? I am really bugging out that I may lose her over something so insignificant in our relationship.

We're ready, but are we REALLY ready?

William asks:

Hello, I just turned 16 this summer, and my girlfriend and I have been talking about having sex recently. We just decided that we're ready a couple days ago. But I was just wondering, is there anything I should do, outside of the sex itself? Things like medical exams?