fear

Am I only able to have sex without emotions?

Peanut asks:

I have no reservations when I have casual sex. However when one of these flings turns into a relationship and things get serious I don't want to have sex with them anymore. It has happened with my last three boyfriends and has been the primary reason for my breakups. It feels like a normal relationship...we are best friends, we do almost everything together, I care about him tremendously, but I get scared when he wants to have sex. Why can I only have emotionally detached sex?

He wants me to prove I love him by having sex.

Taylor asks:

I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP

How long can I put off reproductive health exams?

smartblonde asks:

I am a 22 year old female, but I have never had a breast and pelvic exam. I know what happens (I've read your articles as well as other websites), and I'm terrified. I don't like people touching me in general (people sitting right next to me, my parents putting a hand on my shoulder), and the only person who can touch me is my long-term (over 1.5 year) boyfriend. I've discussed this fear with my doctor. I'm also a very private and am not comfortable being around others if I'm not fully clothed, even changing my shirt with my roommate in the room - another problem I have with prospect of the exam.

My boyfriend and I have recently decided we'd like to have sex, so I've gotten a prescription for the birth control pill. However, the doctor said she will not prescribe it year after year without doing a regular breast/pelvic exam; she hopes that after I've been having sex for a while I'll become more comfortable with the idea of the exam, but I'm not. I understand why I should have this exam, so I've even tried just scheduling one to force myself to do it. Unfortunately, after a few hours I began to panic and didn't calm until I cancelled the exam. There is no history of breast cancer or any sort of reproductive problem in my family, and I do a monthly breast exam on myself. How long can I safely put off the breast/pelvic exam from the doctor? My boyfriend will come with me, and the doctor said she can give me anti-anxiety medicine, but I'm still worried even if I go through with it I'll become depressed afterward (I have struggled with depression before). Even though these things would help, I'm still terrified, and I begin to panic whenever I think of it. I know I should have had an exam already, but I'd like to know how much longer I can safely delay it.

I have HPV, and I don't want him to know.

Gaby asks:

I got HPV from my last sexual partner. I was wondering if I went to donate blood would I still be able to? My new partner doesn't know I have this and I don't want him to find out. By donating blood and getting the results back will they be able to tell I have it?

My friends are prettier than me, and it's making me miserable.

La Mama asks:

Growing up, me and my friends always dressed the same and acted the same, but as we started getting older, we all developed into beautiful, young independent women. Since then, I have always felt that my friends were prettier than me and got all the attention. Looks-wise, they totally are gorgeous. But it had really taken a toll on my social life, and I don't even leave the house anymore, cause I'm afraid if I go out with them then I'll just be sad again. I'm also afraid that if I ever had a boyfriend that he would develop a crush on my friends because they are so much prettier than me. What should I do?

How do I convince my partner it was normal?

Paul asks:

The other day my girlfriend (15) and I (17) were hooking up and I fingered her until orgasm, then we lay for a few and I fingered her again. And then she took off my pants and started to give me a handjob for the first time, the only thing is it had only been 10 minutes when she stopped and I never reached climax and never came. This was my first handjob ever and I was really nervous. Now she thinks that it is her fault because she thinks she was bad and that is the reason, now she is really embarrassed and I'm really afraid I may lose her. I've tried to tell her that she was not bad and that I was just really nervous however she thinks that I'm lying to her to try to make her feel better about her being bad (but she wasn't). What do I do? I am really bugging out that I may lose her over something so insignificant in our relationship.

I don't want to give him a handjob back: what do I do?

Anonymous asks:

I am in a bit of a pickle. I am ok with my boyfriend fingering me, but I never tell him to, or even elude to it. But I am uncomfortable with giving him hand jobs. I mean, we will be lying down on the couch, and he will just start sliding his hands down to unbutton my pants. I won't resist (unless I am on my period, or am not in a sexual mood) but feel awkward when he then wants me to give him a handjob. How do I tell him this, because even though I do enjoy him fingering me, and I think he likes it too, I don't want to give him hand jobs, and don't want our relationship to become one wayed...what do I do?

Burning, mystery fluids and no bleeding: I'm scared!

Anonymous asks:

Last night I had sex with my boyfriend without a condom. I'm am currently on this new birth control Yaz 24/7 (or something along those lines). Well yesterday he ejaculated inside of me. First the inside of my vagina started to burn really bad. Then my stomach started hurting a lot (sharp pains), and I got really bad cramps. I was terrified. The worst part was when I stood up, a clear mucus type liquid came out of my vagina. First it dripped. Then a great amount pour out and slid down my leg. I started crying because I don't think this is normal. It seemed like his ejaculate just sat in my vagina and when I stood up it just slid down my leg. But I don't think it was his ejaculate! There was no blood, either. I'm SO scared. What's going on? Please help!

Why is anal sex so wrong?

Teenie asks:

I have a question about anal sex. I hear from a lot of people that it's okay as long as your safe about it and consider health risks etc. But I've heard from many friends that it is shunned from society because it's just wrong to insert a penis there...that's where bowel movements are made! I've tried it once with my long time monogamous boyfriend of 2.5 years and it can be such a nice experience; just as nice as your first vaginal experience. I want to understand why it can be such a big deal...it would make me feel much better if I knew what was actually wrong with it.

I look at this way: if you've never tried sushi before, and you look at it and think that it's gross, you'll never try it. It's like that with anal sex. If you look at it and you've never tried it before, you might think it looks gross or isn't a nice experience...but you'll never know unless you've tried it. Is that in anyway close to how I think about it? I wanna know why it's such a bad thing! THANK YOU!

Will masturbation make me infertile?

Anonymous asks:

During my teens while cleaning my private parts I indulged in shaking and by doing that I got the sensation and slowly and steadily white fluid used to come out. Due to that I used to stammer a lot while speaking and my hair had become half. But I had stopped and started to recover but but still I used to do it once or twice a year. For last one year I had not done it and saw personality improvements in me. Now I am about to get married, will it have any effect in my conceiving. Please, it is very urgent.

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