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expectations

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

Lots of sex, but why a dry spell now?

Anonymous asks:

Me and my girlfriend of 1-year used to have sex 4 to 6 times a week. But now she says she does not get in the mood and we usually only have sex like once a month. I ask her why she just says not horny anymore.

To have sex or not to have sex: that's the question.

Eoin asks:

I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.

I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.

First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):

I come way too soon and I just can't deal!

Chris asks:

This question is about Premature Ejaculation, nowhere on the internet will give me any free advice or help so I really appreciate some real advice on thus one. I'm 20 years old and I have a girlfriend.

We been having sex a lot, when I get to see her, (she lives in another city in the time being but when I do see her), the tension is high in our sexual urges and have a lot of it. I have a very confused penis as it would last normally (let's say 10 minutes) but then more often it goes out of control and I ejaculate to soon.

She is very supportive and tries to go slow or is patient when I have to stop every 5 seconds. But come on, this isn't sex. I'm fighting a battle every time. I try to relax and use different condoms for sensitivity but I still get the same end result PE! I do know I have a high sex drive ( I love the idea of sex a lot) she is hot and the fact she wants it all the time is hot too but I find sometimes it makes me a bit nervous because of my problem.

I know in my past I do get stressed, sometimes I don't sleep regularly, or get the proper exercise as needed, and I got a lot on my mind but I know others like that and they don't have PE or at least tell me that. When I was with her I wasn't stressed or anything and I still get it. Can you please help me.

My breasts failed his sexual fantasy.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are both 18 years old. We've been going out for almost 8 months now. We don't have sex, but we still fool around a lot. My boyfriend used to watch a lot of porn, so he has some really crazy ideas sometimes. I don't mind them and find most of them really interesting. The other night we decided to try when a guy places a penis between your breasts and thrusts until ejaculating. I insisted we didn't because of one problem- I'm a 32 A. Now keep in mind that I'm content with my breast size. However, I used to think it was abnormal to be so small since all the girls in my family are at least a B. Most are at least a C. So this moment really frustrated me and even provoked me to feel insecure about my breast size.....again. Of course our adventure failed because I just don't have enough cleavage to hold him in place.

My boyfriend loves me very much, we both plan to spend our lives together, and we lovingly accept each other for who we are. But I know he was dissapointed and that really made an effect on me. Even though he still loves me, it hurts to be unable to satisfy a fantasy.

I can't orgasm from intercourse and it's ruining my relationship!

anonymous asks:

A friend of mine referred me to this website to sort out some of my complications that arise during sex. I am 17 and have been sexually active for probably the past 6 months but not once have I reached an orgasm. I have no idea what is wrong with me and I am desperate to find out because it is destroying mine and my boyfriend's sex lives. I can orgasm through clitoral stimulation but that is it and I do not know what else I can do. Please help me because I don't know what is wrong with me.

Can sex be a way of saying I love you?

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are both virgins. We have talked about sex and decided we are ready for it. Can sex be a way of saying "I love you"? How? What makes it such?

Why would intercourse feel good for women?

Anonymous asks:

I was reading about the female anatomy on your website and you said that the clitoris was the part that would be the source of pleasure for the woman. If the most sensitive part of a woman's anatomy is on the outside, how can intercourse feel good? Also, I don't understand how intercourse would stimulate the clitoris. From the diagrams on your website, it seems to me that the clitoris is quite far from the viginal entry. How can a penis entering the virgina have any affect on the clitoris? Thank you for your response!

What can I do to get her to orgasm: am I the problem?

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 2 months now, and we have been having sex for about a month. I am unable to get her to climax. She has only had sex with one other person besides me, she only had sex with him one time, and she didn't like it when they did it. She had sex with me for the first time because her friends were pressuring her. I told her that I was not with her for the sex I was with her for her, but she told me she wanted to. So we had sex and she said it hurt her. It doesn't hurt her anymore and she tells me that she enjoys it, but I cannot get her to have an orgasm. I have gave her oral one time and she liked it, her legs started to twitch and afterward she had a cramp in one of her legs, but it didn't get her to reach her climax. Now she won't let me do that anymore because she thinks that it is nasty down there but I like doing it and when I did it I didn't find it the least bit nasty. She is a little bit chunky and she thinks that the sweat will make it taste nasty or what ever, but when we do have sex she does get pretty wet down there so I don't see a reason to use extra lube.

The last girlfriend I had reached her climax every time and usually two or three times. But when she left me I was single for about 10 months because I was trying to get over her. Now when I have sex I can't last very long. We have sex for about 10 minutes and I have reached my orgasm. The other night we had sex and I came and then we waited for about 10 minutes and had sex again only this time I lasted for about half hour. I am very self-conscience about my penis because I feel that it is small and unable to get the job done but I have never had a problem getting any other girls to climax. Could this problem be because she is new to sexual experiences or becuase my package is to small? Is there a way for me to make myself last longer? I have tryed masturbating before she gets here to try to make myself last longer but it does not work. I have never had problems like this before, my last girlfriend and I used to have sex for an hour or two everytime. I think she is also worried about having sex to much because she doesnt want to become "loose". So I don't know if it is her or me that is the problem.

I am concerned because I have liked this girl for a while now and now that we are together I am falling fast for her. I just want her to have the most pleasure she can out of the sex. Also she does not masturbate so she has never given herself an orgasm either so she don't know what she likes and I think she is sometimes trying to hard to get herself to experience an orgasm because I am trying so hard to get her to that her body don't let her. Also I would like to talk to her about new experiences and new ways to try to get her to climax but at the same time I dont know how exactly to talk to her about it. Thank you for your time and advice.

Can I make myself wetter or tighter?

SaidoChan asks:

I'm 17 and wondering if there was anyway to make myself wetter down there, or if I could make myself tighter? My boyfriend tends to like sex more when i'm wet and tight. I do feel like im wetter if I drink more water each day (like 2 water bottles while I'm at school) Is it because I'm drinking more fluids, or is it all in my mind?

I get tight and loose randomly but I feel really small when we have sex less often for long periods of time. Like have sex on Monday, and then don't do it again till Saturday. I know the vagina naturally changes shape and becomes looser or tighter. But I want to know if there's anyway to make it tighter. I love having sex with my boyfriend, but I want him to have fun too (I know he does) but I want to make it more enjoyable for both of us. He tends to explode when I'm wet and tight, and we both enjoy that. Thankies to you if you can help.

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