I have no reservations when I have casual sex. However when one of these flings turns into a relationship and things get serious I don't want to have sex with them anymore. It has happened with my last three boyfriends and has been the primary reason for my breakups. It feels like a normal relationship...we are best friends, we do almost everything together, I care about him tremendously, but I get scared when he wants to have sex. Why can I only have emotionally detached sex?

I am a virgin, and single. In my state of singularity, I have had a lot of time to think, particularly because my friends are starting to want to go all the way with their partners. My biggest fear, as is probably common, is being rejected or hurt physically, emotionally, or both. Some say that it hurts the first time you have sex, and I was wondering as to the extent of that pain, and if it continues after you have had sex for the first time?

My second question is about pubic hair. I overheard some guys talking and they were crudely exchanging notes on their preferences on that subject and it had me worried. If not au naturale then what? For that matter, are the bare basics even acceptable>? And if not how do you go about shaping things up down there?