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dysfunction

Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend

There doesn't seem to be a week that passes at Scarleteen where we're not helping a user who is in some kind of crisis -- and often a whopper -- with an older male partner: pressured sex or a sexual abuse, a pregnancy scare (usually due to the guy having any and every reason why other guys can use condoms, but he's the great exception to every rule), a newly-acquired STI (again with the condom refusals, sometimes paired with lies about testing and sexual history), an abusive relationship (and often combined with a pregnancy scare, pregnancy or STI), isolation from friends or family (often beca

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Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend

He may be older but he's not wiser, and he's not acting like a grownup. He doesn't want to grow up, which is part of why he's dating people he perceives as not grownup themselves. He also doesn't have the bad stuff that happens to you because of him happen to him to make him want to change: if he was in your shoes, he'd ditch him in a heartbeat.

All I want is to be held.... but that's not what keeps happening.

earthworm asks:

I am in the predicament of wanting a man to hold me but suspecting that I have not yet mastered my ability to honor my boundaries. When I have asked men to just hold me, they never keep their word, and after becoming turned on from the contact, I lose the will to turn down their advances. These men have had partners, or condemned monogamous relationships, and so sex complicates things emotionally.

Also, all my sexually active life I have been dealing with what my gynecologist recently characterized as vaginismus. So even though I get turned on while cuddling, my vagina rejects a man’s penis. I have to do anal and/or oral, which increasingly fails to completely satisfy the man nor me. Afterward I tend to feel inadequate, used, and defective, especially if I don’t hear from the man again. Not to sound cliché’ but I need human contact! Masturbation doesn’t offer the comfort and security of relaxing in a man’s arms. Maybe I should just ask a female friend to hold me. But the same thing could happen with her. I am almost 23 years old. How do I learn to exercise self restraint, so this cycle will end?

Why do I still feel so guilty?

Erin asks:

I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no. Well, he kept doing this for two years, and we broke up a couple times over it. He'd always just apologize and say he wouldn't ask again. But then one day we went fishing together and he brought a blanket (which I thought was sweet....) and a condom. And he asked again.

No pleasure

anonymous asks:

I have been sexually active for almost 2 years now. I get little to no pleasure out of sex, except for a few times. I can't have an orgasm either, I've tried all kinds of things and nothing seems to work. Is their something wrong with me? Any suggestions?

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