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dynamics

This is what sexual incompatibility looks like.

haiguyz asks:

My partner seems to pick and choose when she wants to fool around with me. Whenever I want to do anything, she doesn't, and if I get her to do anything, she complains the whole way through. When she gives me head, if I suggest things to do, she gives me an evil look, and tells me to shut up, like she's being humiliated. But just a few days ago, she took me into my room and gave me head without me even asking or suggesting in any way! She once told me she doesn't like for me to do anything to her or vice versa, but this just confuses me. I know it sounds like I'm pushing her to do these things, but I have nothing but the utmost respect for her. I just would like to be intimate with her more often. When I tell her this, she brings up that she doesn't really like intimacy. I'm so confused!

Why do I still feel so guilty?

Erin asks:

I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no. Well, he kept doing this for two years, and we broke up a couple times over it. He'd always just apologize and say he wouldn't ask again. But then one day we went fishing together and he brought a blanket (which I thought was sweet....) and a condom. And he asked again.

Dealing with Date Rape & Abuse

HurtandUsed asks:

Okay, this happened to me a few months ago but it's been really bothering me. I was dating a guy for a while and when we started dating, I told him I didn't want to do anything sexual till I was 18. He promised that it was okay for him and he wouldn't do or try anything. Well, after we were dating for about 8 months, he started to change. He would get ticked off at me if I didn't spend every minute of my time with him. He wouldn't let me hang out or even talk to any of my friends. Then he started saying things to me that were perverted but I just shrugged them off as him just joking around. He then started touching my chest area, and I told him to stop, but he just acted like it was always an accident. He kept on doing it even at school, so I just gave up, and didn't care if he touched me there anymore even though in the back of my head I knew it was wrong. Then one day, we were over at his house lying on his bed, and I guess you could say we were making out. I really regret it now. Then he did something he never did before, He put his hands up my shirt and took off my bra. I couldn't say no because it was already too late.

He says he wants sex to be more about him, but what does that mean?

confused asks:

Last night my boyfriend had a few drinks and he got really honest with me...He said that he thinks when were in bed its always all about me and he thinks it should be more about him in return. I don't know what he wants me to do, mostly we have sex missionary but often with my legs in different positions. I do enjoy being on top and get on top often, but maybe that's not enough? I have given him oral and always believed I was good at it. What positions are more pleasurable for men where women do more of the work? I was also wondering if a man orgasms every time he comes?

Sex as punishment?

Anonymous asks:

My husband and I have sex a lot...well it used to be more before I got pregnant with our daughter. Anyways, he has pushed for anal sex-which hurts so much-and the second time I let him go ahead and do it I was crying so much afterwards that he said he'd never ask again...but he has, and when I say no he pushes. I feel like he's punishing me for having cheated on last year...it's like by hurting me physically he's getting back at me for hurting him emotionally. Is that right? And is there any way I can make anal not hurt so much - lube doesn't help but so much.

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

He loves this position, but it hurts me like hell.

la.shortie asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and we have been having sex. But when we do the doggystyle (not anal) its painful for me. I feel that like my stomach is hurting, which kinda sucks because my boyfriend likes it a lot but its too painful for me. I try to bear with the pain so I can please him but sometimes its too much. What can I do so it doesn't hurt?

Was this rape?

Samy-baby asks:

So, I got my boyfriend really horny, and I told him we weren't going to have sex anymore today and that I didn't want to be fingered, but he put his hand down my pants anyways. I kept saying no because I didn't want it, but he's stronger than me and ended up fingering me anyways. Afterward, he said he was sorry, but this wasn't the first time, he always does it and he always says but you like it, like that's supposed to make it better. Is this rape or am I in a safe relationship? Because besides when it comes to sex, he's the best boyfriend I've ever had.

What if our feelings aren't perfectly mutual?

Anonymous asks:

This question isn’t about a sexual issue, but I was hoping you could help me anyway. I’ve been going out with this guy for about 4 months now, and I’m getting a bit antsy. We’re both really busy with college and work, and we find it quite hard to organize dates and so on (we don’t go to the same college). Neither of us has invested a whole lot into this relationship, if you can call it one, but that’s fine with me at the moment. So that isn’t the problem. The one thing that’s bothering me is that I’m getting the impression that I ‘like’ him more than he does me. At least emotionally. Physically, there aren’t any issues. But I don’t think I want to be in any sort of one-sided relationship. This is the first guy I’ve ever been with, and I like him a lot, so I really don’t know how to approach this. Should I talk to him about it, or just let things go on as they are and see how they work out? Am I being completely neurotic?

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