desire

The way you framed this is tricky, because our sexuality isn't separate from our minds and can't be separated from our minds, just like our bodies can't be separated from our minds. In fact, our mind is where most of sexuality really is and is what drives it the most. We can't say something is...

Because you don't want to have any kind of sex or a given kind of sex now, in a given relationship, or don't feel ready now or in this relationship does not mean you won't ever. There are many, many kinds of sex -- not just intercourse, and sex also includes masturbation, having sex by ourselves...

From what I tend to observe, when someone like you is worried about what you'll say exerting sexual pressure, but is coming from the wonderful, thoughtful kind of place that you are, these worries are often displaced. In other words, I'd say it's highly likely that with how you feel about this...

Sometimes when we're in a really horrible spot, on top of being supported, an unexpected gift can help, too. So, I got the best gift for you right now I could think of and that I had access to. It's Kate Bornstein! If you don't know about Kate already, know that she's one of the most amazing people...

I'm a little uncomfortable with how you're framing this. I'll do my best to fill you in on why. It's also really tough for me to answer your question given the way it's framed. I'll explain that, too. When someone suggests they want sex with someone, and seems to be suggesting that sex would EVER be...

The excitement of everything early in a relationship can be one of the most amazing feelings ever. Everything is perfect! Your partner is adorable! Everything about this person is endearing! You always get along! Everything feels so easy and natural! You both have permanent goofy grins pasted on...

It certainly sounds like this isn't a good sexual relationship for you, and perhaps hasn't been throughout. I'm not surprised you're feeling dissatisfied, and not surprised you find yourself experiencing anger and resentment around your sex life in this relationship. It sounds not only like your...

Our sexual development is a lifelong process, one we actually start before we're even born. Our sexuality and sexual development isn't the same at every stage, mind: infant or early childhood sexuality is a very different thing than adult sexuality. But it's still almost always present in some...

There is little in the world that varies as much as human sexuality does. So, even when we have a couple common variables -- let's say all 18 or 19-year-old women: both an age and a single sex or gender there -- we are still going to see a huge variety within that group based on all the other...

A lot of what I'm reading in your post suggests to me that you two are just not in a good place for sex together right now. Someone telling you they don't want to be intimate, that they don't like it when you do sexual activities for them, that they don't like to do them for you is usually telling...