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dealing

My best friend raped me last year, and I'm just starting to deal with it.

Anonymous asks:

Last summer ('06) I was pressured to sex by my former best friend. I kinda blocked it out and it's come back with full force now. I had a flash back when having sex with my boyfriend about a week ago and that was horrible! Any idea how I can cope with that?
And how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and shame. I really feel like the whole thing was partially my fault.. What happened was that we hadn't seen each other for a year cos he'd moved and when I came to visit we made out. He wanted to go further and I didn't. When I refused to go down on him he spiked me drink and made me do it when I was drunk. Unprotected. (Had STI screening since then, which was all clear...) I just feel like I could've somehow done something. Like keep an eye on my drink or say no more forcefully or just plain fight him off. I don't really know how to deal with this... I hope you can help..

Also, I was talking to a male friend the other day and he thought that men should have an option to legally not be fathers in case of a pregnancy. Like not be obliged to pay for child care and not be a part of the kids life whatsoever. I thought that this was ridiculous, but couldn't come up with any sound reasons why I though so.. It was just a general feeling. If this discussion comes up again what can I say?

I got her pregnant, and I just can't deal.

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend has been acting all shifty around me. I thought she'd gone off me and I started ignoring but then I started to hear rumours that she was pregnant and it was my kid which shocked me cause we're always so careful. I kinda confronted her when she told me it was true I freaked and completely flipped out at her. It was like world war 3, I felt so bad after but I feel like I can't talk to her and shes wants me to be involved but again I don't think I can. I'm finding it really hard to get used to all this stuff and every one around me is treating me like it's all my fault, which I know it is but I don't get why everyone's treating me like this. I guess if I was looking in on all this shit I'd probably judge but I've got so much shit going on after my dad walking out, coping with this is like hell on earth. What can I do? People are saying I'll get used to it but I really don't wanna.

From Victim to Survivor

Sometimes we have no idea how things will affect us, no idea about the million ways in which one event can influence our lives. When I ran out of the driveway that day, across the street and to our house, I had no idea that the hard part was still to come. One volunteer's story of her history with sexual abuse, and her journey to healing.

Dealing With Rape

If you have NOT gladly and freely consented to and participated in sexual activity -- if you have not in some way said a big yes and wanted to keep saying a big yes -- and someone else had sex with you anyway, that is rape. No matter what ANYONE tells you, it is not your fault. There certainly is fault, but it lies with the rapist, not the victim.

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