D/s

Is something wrong with me because I like BDSM? Can I like it and still be a feminist?

alice42 asks:

For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on my imagining my own pain and humiliation. I am going out with someone for the first time now, and we've been together for almost eight months. Recently we've started experimenting with very mild SM-type things--tying each other up, biting, spanking. I love it, and so does he. But is this normal? Should I be worried that this turns me on more than anything else we've done together? Is there something wrong with me? (I've never been abused). And can I still be a feminist if I get off on being dominated by men?

Rape fantasy or domination and submission desires?

Nunya asks:

I am 24 and a sexually active woman. I have a fantasy that I have told no one about because its embarassing. I keep having fantasies about being held down and forced to have sex. It really turns me on too. Is this normal? (No I have never been raped or molested, so its not some pshychlogical thing comin out.) I want to ask my boyfriend to do a roleplay with me about forcing himself on me but I don't want him to think I am a psycho nutball. Would this be safe and healthy as long as we made up something, a codeword like "reindeer" or something so that if I got scared or it got to rough one of us could say the code word and we stop? Do other people have this fantasy or am I really a psycho nutball?

Working the Kinks Out

I'm 15 and I have a wonderful boyfriend who I am very much in love with. My boyfriend is the sweetest, gentlest, most caring person I have met in a while and I know he really cares about me and it's totally mutual.

The thing is, he has some crazy fetishes....not exactly crazy, but he really likes doing dominate-and-submissive stuff, where he gets to be the "slave." I know if I even said something like "I'm just not ready for stuff like that" or even that I don't like it, he'd be embarrassed. I don't want to do that to him! But I also do NOT want to feel pressured into doing anything just to make him happy, because I truly want to make him happy but when it comes to stuff I just don't really like that much, well if I let myself be pressured into one thing who knows what it could lead to. So how should I tell him without making him feel like crap?