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Marriage: The Only Right Choice for Everyone...well, except for you. And you. And you.

Who gets left out, ignored, dismissed or denied when someone states that sex, good sex or real intimacy or love should, can or does only happen within the context of monogamous marriage, or when any given couple has only had one spousal sexual or romantic partner in a lifetime?

More than a few people.

  • gay, lesbian or bisexual people in same-sex romantic or sexual partnerships in most parts of the world, including those with families
  • people whose life or committed partnerships are platonic or affectionate friendships, same-sex or opposite-sex, not romantic or sexual marriages
  • people under the legal age to marry
  • those who are or who have been married and who did not or have not found all or any of those things within their marriages
  • rape or incest survivors, when others or culture class rape as sex
  • those who have been married and were abandoned by their spouse
  • couples who are not yet married, and intend to marry but are sexual together now
  • those who are married to someone who has extra

Taken Over

I never thought it would happen to me, and when it did I was determined to try and fix it. But it wasn't something I could fix.

I, Being Born Woman and Suppressed

Menstrual suppression is becoming increasingly popular, and has been widely promoted for women. For some, especially women with reproductive health issues which are helped by suppressing periods, it's an obvious boon, and some using it electively also report it to be a blessing. But what about the health risks? What about the attitudes informing that choice which cheerlead suppression by maligning menstruation? What about the benefits, emotional and physical, our periods can offer us? An opinionated, no-holds-barred look at the whole works and a paean to the period, no matter what a woman chooses to do with it.

For the Bible Tells Me So

Can the love between two people ever be an abomination? Is the chasm separating gays and lesbians and Christianity too wide to cross? Is the Bible an excuse to hate?

Two women, two partners, and four folks frustrated with intercourse.

frustrated asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and have been sexually active for some time. Usually we have pretty good sex. But lately I've just been getting upset because I can never orgasm through intercourse. I know that's normal for girls but when I ask him to do other things, he usually doesn't want to. I almost always orgasm when he eats me out but he hardly ever does that and if he does it's never long enough. He wants to just move into having sex. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore for me and sex is just a way to get him off and then we're done. But I want to feel pleasure too. I already love him and love being with him sexually but is there a way we can try to make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse? Or is there a way I can make it more comfortable for him to eat me out?

The ABCs of Size Bias

Body image ideals, like race and gender, are social constructs that have grown out of a combination of history, politics, class, and moral values. One need look back only a few generations, or across cultures, to see that attitudes about thinness and fatness are fluid and ever changing.

Porn: the eternal conversation killer.

Teresa asks:

Why do men freeze up when you ask them about watching porn movies?

10 Questions with Jennifer Baumgardner

Jennifer talks with us about her new project about rape, which we're participating in at Scarleteen, what the project can do to increase awareness about rape and survivors, where she thinks we're at culturally with rape issues, and what young people can do to help transform rape culture and their own lives.

Not feeling much with penetration, what's up with that?

Ashlee B. asks:

I'm 18 years old and I recently just lost my virginity. It wasn't very painful at all as I had heard it might be, in fact the pain I felt was very minor and more so irritating to my vagina than anything. The thing that I was worried about though however, is the fact that after he entered, I felt nothing. At first I thought that maybe it was because he doesn't seem really big in size, but after reading up on it, I guess he's pretty average. And although I felt nothing, he did. So I don't have a clue why this is so. Also, I've never really found pleasure in fingering either when he does or when I do it myself because I don't get a sensation from it. Could this be related? I just want to know if you any information that might be useful to me. Thanks.

Do vibrators cause a loss of sensitivity?

girl16 asks:

I have heard two different stories; one, that using a vibrator can do no harm, and two, that using a vibrator can do worlds of harm! I have heard that using one will desensitize the area and make sex with a real person totally unenjoyable and dissatisfying. Which theory is true?

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