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I am a 19 year old guy and I have a question both about club etiquette and general advice. I have gone to nightclubs/pubs a few times with my friends and on the dance floor sometimes girls seem to stand very close to me and seem to be "inviting me" or waiting for me to make some kind of move (everyone tells me, and I suspect its true). Occasionally they even rub up against me with their bum and such. I usually try to escape or pretend it didn't happen because I just get TOO nervous. Later, I kick myself because half the time it's a girl I find attractive and would be interested in either getting to know or having some kind of frisky contact with on the dance floor. One of the things is I am terrified of moving badly or out of rhythm, of doing something awkward. My friends are all kinda fed up with me as I ask them about their encounters and seem to pass up any potential encounter I could have out of nerves or fear. They think I'm kinda 'living through them' by not doing anything myself. I'm also wondering about consent. If a girl dances up to me and rubs against me, that shows interest but isn't 100% consent, so how can I put my arms around her or dance close to her but ask? It's hard to ask because of loud music, maybe running away as I do is the best option.
Heya: so I have always had really strong principles when it comes to sex and relationships. I always envisioned myself with a nice, steady boyfriend before I would do any more than just kissing. About a month ago I was at a party and out of pure curiosity (not drunkeness) I made the decision to let a boy finger me, but I didn't really know him very well. At Christmas I let another boy finger me who I didn't know (again this was a conscious decision I wasn't drunk). But now I just feel sooo slaggy because it is against what I believe in and I feel so awful in myself. Am I right to feel like this, where should I go from here?
I'm going to tell you something.
I'm proud to be Native/Aboriginal/First Nations.
I'm proud not only because I have a legacy of ancestors who have stood up against some of the truest tests of time so that this great culture of ours still remains today, but because I need look no further than in my own culture to do the work that I’ve wanted to do my entire life: sexual health.
Before the invention of clinics, anatomy textbooks, or even this fantastic website, my people were practicing sexual education, living as feminists, and utilizing reproductive justice to live as a healthy, strong, autonomous nation.
We might not have called it sexual health, or labeled it with any sort of clinicized connotation, but we sure as hell have always believed in our rights over our own bodies, and how foundational that is to our continued existence.
I mean, what do people really think we used to do? Wait for the colonizers to come and teach us about sex?!
You would think however that we would get the rRead more...