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Raised to think sex was dirty and it's left me feeling inhuman and insecure

Anonymous asks:

As a catholic, I was raised believing sex was dirty. My family never spoke about sex and so I am completely naive to everything. And despite the sex-ed classes I had in school, everything is still so abstract to me. I never even really had the desire to have sex or to explore my sexuality. It was all just taboo in my mind. I am now 24 and a virgin and have been with my boyfriend for a while now. And as our relationship progresses, we want to become more intimate. We have tried to have sex a few times but it hasn't worked. I know it is my fault because he is not a virgin. I have wanted to do it with him but I get scared and he doesn't force it. Because of my negative sexual upbringing, I feel very uncomfortable talking about sex so I have avoided discussing it with him. My friends tell me sex is perfectly natural, but in the back of my mind, I still think that I am committing a sin by having sex or by doing anything sexual. Is there any way to alleviate these feelings of inadequacy and fear? Most people, despite their up-bringing, do find it normal to have sex at one time or another. They learn about sexuality. And I am still completely naive to everything. I feel like unhuman or something.

I'm not comfortable with "dirty" talk, so how do I have phone sex?

anonymous asks:

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 10 months. We have been in a long distance relationship the whole time that we have been together but we have seen each other at least once a month and just recently spent the entire summer living together. But anyways I just moved back home and I need advice on how to have phone sex with her. Obviously we are having sex and I love her more then I have ever loved someone yet I can't seem to rid myself of this shyness I seem to have on the phone. I want to but I am shy and so is she. It's hard for me to say the dirty words to her because I've always watched my mouth around ladies. How can I overcome this? I need to know how to initiate, continue and end.

What if our feelings aren't perfectly mutual?

Anonymous asks:

This question isn’t about a sexual issue, but I was hoping you could help me anyway. I’ve been going out with this guy for about 4 months now, and I’m getting a bit antsy. We’re both really busy with college and work, and we find it quite hard to organize dates and so on (we don’t go to the same college). Neither of us has invested a whole lot into this relationship, if you can call it one, but that’s fine with me at the moment. So that isn’t the problem. The one thing that’s bothering me is that I’m getting the impression that I ‘like’ him more than he does me. At least emotionally. Physically, there aren’t any issues. But I don’t think I want to be in any sort of one-sided relationship. This is the first guy I’ve ever been with, and I like him a lot, so I really don’t know how to approach this. Should I talk to him about it, or just let things go on as they are and see how they work out? Am I being completely neurotic?

...and he likes me to do to HIM, but won't do to me.

Jessica asks:

I'm 18 and have been sexually active with my boyfriend for about a year. We've done all sorts of things with each other, including oral sex. However, he refuses to perform oral on me. I've given him blowjobs many times. He says he enjoyed it very much, except he felt bad because he didn't want to reciprocate. He says that if I don't want to give him a blowjob, he would completely understand. But I love giving oral; I don't feel that it's unfair to me if I choose to do it. Even so, I really wish he would go down on me. When I asked him why he doesn't want to, he said he doesn't know. What could be bothering him, and what can I do to convince him that giving me head isn't as scary as it apparently seems to him?

She likes it when I do for her, but she won't do for me.

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. I am 18, she is 17. I've been consistently fingering her/going down on her for several months now. Yet she has never taken the initiative as to go down on me, not even so much as with her hand. The only contact she seems able to handle with my penis is in sex, which we've tried to no avail (can't get it in). The fact that we can't have sex wouldn't bother me whatsoever if she went down on me every once and a while. What bothers me most is that she doesn't seem like she wants to get me off whatsoever. She seems literally terrified of my penis, though strangely OK with sex (I suspect this is because sex is pleasurable for her, too). Meanwhile, I am completely opposed to the idea of suggesting she go down on me, because I feel like she ought to want to anyway. Long story short, she seems perfectly attuned to receiving pleasure but not to giving it. What can I do?

First intercourse was horrible, and I think it ruined my genitals.

Anonymous asks:

I did it for the fist time and it was horrible, my partner just went fast and hard and deep until he was done and I wasn't even aroused well...my private is huge now and I do not feel sex with my current partner, it's been three months now, could a person be ripped or torn unnatural although it's a vagina and made for sex with a man? Do I just need to wait a long time before doing it again? Is there a such thing as being torn or ripped and heal back and not get back the natural elasticity of my vagina? I mean I had to dig into my skin bite my fingers and hold my breath from the pain, I don't think that is normal.....help please I'm very worried about this!

What he's doing isn't working for me, but how do I tell him that?

keepintime asks:

My Boyfriend and I are new to doing anything sexual. We are both virgins and have never had intercourse, just oral. How do I tell him what he is doing does nothing for me and doesn't please me without hurting his feelings, and what should I say to him?

An extra toothbrush

An extra toothbrush. Check! Enough underwear to go a month without doing wash. Oh yeah. A bedspread carefully coordinated to compliment your roommate’s? Well, maybe not. In any case, your bags are packed, the family van is heaving under all the weight, and you can’t wait to start a new, exciting phase of your life.

But along with all the material items you’re bringing, don’t forget to prepare for the emotional and interpersonal chances and challenges awaiting you.

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How many guys has she slept with?

b asks:

Is there a test you can take to tell exactly how many guys a girl has had sex with?

I'm 13, and want to have sex: will it hurt?

Jamie asks:

I really want to have sex for the first time. But I am only thirteen. I know vaguely what to do and I know to use protection. But I was talking to my 17-year-old cousin (who has had sex before) if it hurt his girlfriend the first time. And he had said that she was screaming and she felt as if she wanted to die. This information scared me a little too much for comfort. I would like to know if it will hurt as much as he said it will or if he was just exaggerating. Thank you so much.

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