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communication

Would friends-with-benefits work for me?

Anonymous asks:

I've been confused about my sexual attraction to a guy I've liked for the past 2 years. He has always made it clear that he only wants sex from me, but he has no romantic feelings for me, and I've always been confused about how far I've wanted to go with something so unstable. Recently we started our first year at the same college, and I guess with the new freedom and everything I decided that I would try to have sex with him. In that attempt, I just couldn't allow myself to do that, cuz when it started to hurt more and I started thinking about did I want to permanently lose something that I can't have back. But now after the situation I feel like I regret that decision and I want to try again, because I can't stop thinking about it. How can I let him know that? And am I wrong for wanting to have sex with someone who clearly only wants me for sex? And is it bad that I felt uncomfortable discussing what I want to do with him? I've looked around your site, and I see that it doesn't have much information about friends with benefits? Is that because it's condemned?

Sex hurts her, but I don't want it to!

Anonymous asks:

Ok, me and my girlfriend just now started to have sex and it's like still hurting her after like the 3rd time we couldn't really do it too long that time because it hurt her. And I'm worried if I'm not doing something right because I don't want to hurt her I want it to be enjoyable for her. What Do I Do!

I want to wait, but he's pushing (literally) and I'm not sure what's going on!

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend is respectful of my wishes not to engage in pre-marital sex, but lately, he has been teasing me with his penis and sometimes applying pressure "down there." Then I always make sure he doesn't push any further, but a few times he has pushed a little bit into my labia. But lately, I have been wondering I have lost my virginity...have I?

How do I tell her I want to get sexual?

Anonymous asks:

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 months and I want to do a little more then just kiss. How can I tell her that without her thinking I'm taking advantage of her or her thinking that's all I want?

I love him: is that enough?

nerdlove asks:

The truth is: I am scared. But also anxious, excited, curious. My boyfriend and I have an attraction unlike any I've ever known. He always tells me to let him know if I want to stop, and then he will stop. I want to be intimate with him, and I've definitely thought about it, but it could always be too much too soon. I feel we may engage in sex soon. I don't really know how to do anything, though. I think I'm ready for it, but we're both still young, in high school. I'm afraid for what will happen, for what I am or am not capable of. I want to make him happy, but not always at the cost of myself. I cannot get pregnant; this is my forefront concern. Sex has always been displayed as something funny by my friends, and dangerous by my elders. To me, it's more a... beautiful thing? I'm not sure. With my less than adequate experience, I honestly don't know. I know that I love him; is that enough?

Am I Blue?

Kaitlynne asks:

I was wondering exactly what "blue-balls" meant for guys. My boyfriend mentioned it recently when he was complaining that I didn't go all the way when we were messing around. (I was touching him inside of his pants, but didn't give him a full-out hand job or oral, so he didn't "get off.") Although I understand the basic concept of painful internal pressure building up because of no outlet, what I was wondering was just how much of a problem this is: is it very likely to happen to him or not? There wouldn't be any more than an hour between arousal and an opportunity for him to jack off, and, to me, it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue since he does so regularly, which, as for my understanding of the matter, would keep the pressure relatively low. I know it didn't happen to him that day, because I asked him a couple of days later, but now it's sort-of in the back of my mind when we're hanging out. Now I'm nervous about getting him turned on, because I feel pressured to do more than that. Its not like I have problems with giving him a hand/blow job, but I don't always want to, for various reasons, and now I feel awkward about doing anything at all if I'm not in the mood for doing something that would get him off. Thank you for your help!

The Great No-Orgasm-From-Intercourse Conundrum

Anonymous asks:

I'm 18, female and my boyfriend and I had no previous sexual relationships. I've been engaging in intercourse about a month now, and I was wondering why I haven't orgasmed yet. I've been able to orgasm through masturbation but not with my boyfriend doing the work. What do you think is wrong? Is it normal? Or are we just too inexperienced? If so how do I tell my boyfriend about it?

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Without condoms, I only last five minutes: what's wrong with me?

Kris asks:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. I have never loved or felt this way about a girl. We have been sexually active ever since we started hooking-up and dated. She has the ring, and I like not having to use a condom. She is the first girl I have never worn a condom with though. At first I could last 15 to 20 min of intense intercourse and now I last 5 min tops. Why am I doing this? It also seems to turn her off and worries her sometimes cause it's not as long. I always get mad at myself and want to go again like I have something to prove. Am I doing this to myself? We do other activities and she and I both love it, I get her to come and orgasm (sometimes) but when we do this it turns me on so much. Could this be another reason why I go so fast?

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

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