communication

I absolutely DESPISE the term "foreplay." Let me tell you why. That term states or suggests -- structurally, it means "before sex" -- that vaginal intercourse is capital-S sex and that every other kind of sex either isn't sex, or should only exist to help prime the pump, as it were, for vaginal...

Sara continues: ...At first I was reading all sorts of tantra books and preparing myself for wonderful sexual experiences, but then the guys around me started taking advantage of my blossoming sexuality, and my first mostly committed relationship was to a guy who told me years later that he had been...

Bravo to you for loving the way your girlfriend looks and seeing her beauty, both inner and outer! The truth of the matter is that many women are uncomfortable with their bodies and this starts at an amazingly young age. We (of all genders, though women are often targeted) are bombarded with media...

Let’s take a few minutes and break everything down into separate thoughts. First and foremost, you need to consider readiness. How do you feel about sex becoming a part of your relationship right now and especially for you personally about starting to have sex? Do you feel that at this point in your...

If you want to have any kind of sex with another woman, even together, than it's not honest to say you don't want another woman. You obviously do, in this way. As well, another partner is a person: not a sex toy, not an object, not some new "thing." So, for everyone's sake -- particularly for that...

Consent is an active process and agreement, and it cannot be coerced. The absence of no does not mean yes. No matter how well you think that you know your partner, you should never assume that you know her thoughts in that instant about sex and what she may want or not want to do. She should also...

When it comes to sex and particularly to the issue of orgasm, expectation can be your worst enemy. As soon as you are worrying about whether you are normal or stressing about a specific event happening or not happening then you’re creating anxiety for yourself, which is a huge barrier to actually...

and Zooey also asks, I had casual sex with a friend of mine and the aftermath here is getting a bit out of hand. We talked about having sex before we actually did so; however, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I made it clear that I wasn't interested in any emotional relationships. Last week my...

Anonymous' question continued At the moment, I didn't think much about how it will affect us. I just let him and he did it for a very long time. It was almost about a full half-hour when I came. He swallowed and everything. And then it hits me that my BEST FRIEND just gave me a blowjob. He went to...

As always with a question such as this, I find myself wishing that I could throw out the cliché phrase “You just know.” The problem with cliché’s of course being that they don’t often really answer anything. So let’s take a minute to break things down together. Readiness is a very loaded term, and...