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communication

Blog your way to feeling better

According to a recent pyschological study at the University of California - Los Angeles, keeping a journal or diary to express your feelings and experiences helps your brain cope with emotional challenges and, ultimately, make you happier. Apparently, the physical and mental act of working out our experiences on paper, be those memories trying or terrific, reduces the activity in the part of our brains responsible for controlling emotional intensity.

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About That "Talk" with Your Parents...

Talking with your parents about sex can be really hard – even if your parents are really open and start the conversation themselves rather than you starting it – or even if your parents are totally supportive of your boyfriend or girlfriend and your sexual activities. Here are some tips and helps to make it easier on both of you.

I've had to lie to get him to stop pressuring me for sex.

anaxelisz asks:

I lied to my boyfriend and told him I was raped. I know rape is nothing to joke about at all. My mother was raped as a child. But it is the first thing that came to mind! He's always trying to get me to have sex with him, and I'm just not ready. He's not the kind of guy you can just sit down with and explain that too..that's just not him and hes a virgin..but he does get "head" sometimes. (Not while I've been with him of course..] But anyway I told him I was raped and that I'm not ready to have sex after that happened to me and that it scares me because it will remind me of what happened. Well, that lie got old and now he's starting to ask me again and again. What do I tell him ? I'm stressing over this and hes not the kind of guy I can just say "I'm not ready to do this..or that" to. Please help. I'm young, only 14 and hes 15 but..what to do ?!

I want to avoid abuse triggers and flashbacks, but I really should go to see a GYN...

trying_to_deal asks:

I have a history of sexual abuse which I have just started working on in therapy--including repressed memories. I have never willingly engaged in sexual experiences and I am 25 years old. A few years ago, during an ER visit for extreme pain (kidney stones) I was given an internal exam which felt out of my control. In fact, seemed forced and I left feeling very violated. Now, I have never seen a gyn even though I am much overdue. I feel like I should for health reasons but I am terrified I will have flashbacks again if the doctor touches my vagina. How do I deal with this? It has impacted this and my ability to seek relationships because of fear of being touched vaginally.

Bored in the Bedroom

Anonymous asks:

I’ve been with the same partner for a few months. He is getting tired of doing the same old missionary position, as am I. He wants me to be on top, but I’m afraid he's not going to like it and I’m not going to be doing the right thing. Plus I’m super shy when it comes to things in the bedroom and am unsure of what to do. So help me, what do I do?

His Mom Walked In: Does She Hate Me Now?

MrszJenkinsz asks:

I was at my boyfriend’s house a couple days ago and his parents left to bring his nephew to a race car show or something like that. While they were gone, we decided to have intercourse. His mother walked in the house to find us in his bed having sex. I was so embarrassed; I put my clothes on and just laid there. I didn't say one word after that, I just kind of sat on the floor and cried. I called to get a ride home immediately but now I'm scared she's going to tell my grandmother who is my guardian and I can tell her myself. I want to know how I should tell my grandmother I'm sexually active and if I should write a letter to his mother apologizing. I feel she might hate me now. I don't know what to do...

Did my previous masturbation de-virginize me?

yesman asks:

I am 15 and when I was 14 I started becoming very interested in masturbating. I actually used objects and penetrated them inside my vagina. After a while i realized how stupid I was being so I stopped with the masturbating. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months and we are so comfortable with each other. He makes comments as a joke about vagina tightness and how I'll bleed when I have sex at first and it will hurt. But the thing is I have basically de-virgined myself. Will the guy who I lose my virginity to notice that having sex for the first time with me will be easy to get in and everything? I really regret masturbating and everything. This may sound stupid but I'm very worried.

Spotlight on Scarleteen: Two new articles!

If you’re a regular at the main site, you may have already seen these two new articles: An Immodest Proposal by Heather Corinna and Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry by CJ Turett and Heather Corinna. But if you haven’t gotten a chance to check them out yet, there’s a brief introduction to both.

Once upon a time, revisited and revamped.

Heather Corinna’s article, An Immodest Proposal, excerpted from the 2008 anthology, Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape, is a modern-day fractured fairy tale about first-time sex-- revisited and revamped!

If Heather were to moonlight as a song lyricist, instead of saying a half-hearted “Oops!”, pop princess Britney Spears would be singing, “Yea, I did it again… and can’t wait to do it again and again!” In her Proposal, Heather conjures up an ideal sexual world that is not just free of rape and violence against women, but one where women and girls are free to express desire and initiate fulfilling sexual e

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Why can't I orgasm?

jms91 asks:

It's really difficult for me to orgasm. As a female, I know it's a lot to expect to orgasm from intercourse, but it seems like everyone at least does from oral. But I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has yet to ever make me orgasm - even through oral sex. Why can't I orgasm?

How do I learn to trust him?

anofficialknight asks:

If you have been raped by more than one person but as a result you never stay with a male in fear of becoming close to them and then you find a guy that you really like and you want to trust him but you just can't ... what should I do to make us a trusting couple?

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.