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Spotlight on Scarleteen: Two new articles!

If you’re a regular at the main site, you may have already seen these two new articles: An Immodest Proposal by Heather Corinna and Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry by CJ Turett and Heather Corinna. But if you haven’t gotten a chance to check them out yet, there’s a brief introduction to both.

Once upon a time, revisited and revamped.

Heather Corinna’s article, An Immodest Proposal by Heather Corinna, excerpted from the 2008 anthology, Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape, is a modern-day fractured fairy tale about first-time sex-- revisited and revamped!

If Heather were to moonlight as a song lyricist, instead of saying a half-hearted “Oops!”, pop princess Britney Spears would be singing, “Yea, I did it again… and can’t wait to do it again and again!” In her Proposal, Heather conjures up an ideal sexual world that is not just free of rape and violence against women, but one where women and girls are free to express desire and initiate

Read more...

Why can't I orgasm?

jms91 asks:

It's really difficult for me to orgasm. As a female, I know it's a lot to expect to orgasm from intercourse, but it seems like everyone at least does from oral. But I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and he has yet to ever make me orgasm - even through oral sex. Why can't I orgasm?

How do I learn to trust him?

anofficialknight asks:

If you have been raped by more than one person but as a result you never stay with a male in fear of becoming close to them and then you find a guy that you really like and you want to trust him but you just can't ... what should I do to make us a trusting couple?

My BFF and I hooked up at a sleepover; now she wants to have sex all the time but I want to stop

Anonymous asks:

anna says: I invited me friend for a sleepover and during the night she liked my clitoris, I didn't tell her to stop because I was worried about how she would take it but I'm not a lesbian so we ended up having sex even though I felt really weird about it. Now she wants to have sex all the time. what should I do?

I feel like a hypocrite but I don't want my younger sister to have sex

Shell0523 asks:

Hey, so I'm a nineteen-year-old male who has been sexually active for the past three years. I've been with a few girls (I was only in a "real" relationship with one) since I lost my virginity at sixteen. The thing is that I have a sister who's fifteen and I just found out that she and her seventeen-year-old boyfriend have started having sex. I don't want her to be doing anything like that-at least not until she is living on her own. Am I being a hypocrite, considering I was about her age when I started having sex?

He can't make up his mind about having sex: doesn't he love me?

ForeverAndAlways asks:

I'm in love with my boyfriend. He's my best friend in the whole world, and I'm his. He's in love with me and it's the first time either of us has ever been in love. It's the most wonderful, yet scariest feeling ever. He's the sweetest guy, and he would never disrespect me and I want to make him happy. We've been talking about having sex, but he keeps changing his mind. First it's let's wait until we're married, then it's Let's not, but not yet. Then it's I'm scared, then it's I respect you too much. He confuses me. It makes me feel like he doesn't love me enough, or want me the way I want him and it's hard for me to deal with. I'm not sure what I should say or do to let him know how I feel...and I'm not sure why he keeps changing his mind. I don't know what he wants and he doesn't tell me voluntarily. I have to guess, which is obviously difficult. We never fight, but lately this has been causing an argument almost every night, and I don't like it. Can you help me?

Your vagina is NOT a crystal ball. OR: What your doctor really can't tell just by looking.

Anonymous asks:

MMkay, so I'm 21, being doing all the right things with yearly exams, getting the tests I need, etc. I just read an article about how the vagina does not substantially change after intercourse, but the first time I had a pelvic exam my doctor said "you're lucky you're getting this done here, a lot of college clinics don't have virgin equipment." What? If there's no substantial change (which I am FAR more inclined to believe) then this makes absolutely no sense. I would ask what she meant, but her practice has moved and I see a different doctor now.

UNRELATED question that I always wanted to ask her but was too afraid to- I was sexually abused when I was little, and raped when I was 16. That for me also confuses the whole issue of what she said- first of all, I wasn't a virgin, and secondly, (my real question) how was it possible she thought I was a virgin, as my guess would be there would also be some kind of signs of past trauma?

As a note, I'm in counseling and doing pretty well but I'm scared to ask because of the oh-man-if-my-doctor-was-right-then-maybe-I'm-overreacting/wrong problem... I'm usually pretty good at trusting myself on this issue, but this is one place I'm always afraid to go because it would be so concrete. (I also just moved for grad school and am seeing someone new and feel comfortable, but I will make a point to ask her too.)

Long distance becomes distasteful when other aspects are disturbing

aspiring phoenix asks:

Dear Scarlet(een),
I live 1500 miles away from a guy I've been seeing. Without planning it, our travels have brought us to the same cities a couple times in the past few months. Unusual for me, but fun.

We're not dating, but I guess he likes me because he seems to be trying to hold things together between us.

I like him...sometimes.

Problem is he's SERIOUSLY weird and on top of it has waaay more experience than I do. I don't know if I can handle an ongoing physical relationship with him anymore - even if I'm 1500 miles away most of the time.

Yesterday while I was visiting him he told me he was sending porn to a female friend who wanted to see the evolution of his tastes from ages 18-25. Then he said he thought of all porn as art and an uncomfortable discussion followed when I disagreed. Guess I'm down for the count on that subject since I don't watch porn usually.

We’re Christians; I’m ready for sex but he wants to wait

Anonymous asks:

Binx_mojo asks:I am ready to have sex and my boyfriend is, too, but wants to wait because we are both Christians. Should I wait for him or should I dump him? What should I do?

The hormones made me do it?

Anonymous asks:

Why do I have hormones, and why do they make me give into temptation?

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