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I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.
I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.
First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):
I heard about a really good organization that helps girls who are pregnant and don't want an abortion. It's called Birthright. I have seen one in my town, but I can't find it on your site. Do you have any information about Birthright or stuff about the way the baby is developing so that we can find out more about our options?
I often have unprotected sex with my ex-fiance. Stupid I know. But I am supposed to be on birth control pills. In June, after we split I stop taking them. Now in December we have had intercourse multiple time again. I have two questions. If I take a pill every time after our intercourse (which I've been doing), will I get pregnant? And will that mess up my body?
Hi. I'm 18 years old (female) and I've been talking about having sex with a guy friend of mine. I'm very inexperienced and so I'm pretty nervous about this. I don't want to do it and then regret it later. So I have couple questions i was hoping you could help me out with. First of all, if it's going to be my first time but not his should i have him get a STI test(and should i get one)? I feel a bit awkward asking him to because we're not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship - if you have any ideas on how i could bring this up to him that would be great. I don't think he has an STI or anything but obviously i can't be sure. Secondly, since I'm inexperienced in the sex department and I'm a naturally shy person anyway how can i make myself more comfortable during any kind of sex? Thirdly, am I going to bleed all over the place since it is going to be my first time? On your site you have said that the bleeding is pretty light buy I am just wondering. Lastly, is it wrong to have sex with someone you're not in a relationship with? I feel comfortable with him and I know if we had sex it would be because we both wanted to - not because anyone was feeling pressure. Thanks so much for answering my questions! I really love your site - it has such great information!
I'm very embarrassed to say that over the last year I have been very promiscuous, as in to having sex with 15 different partners. I have gotten over that phase, and I have sworn to stay celibate for at least six months. My question is whether or not it is possible for me to be tight again? Also, if it would be right for me to make a future boyfriend wait a while, before having sex with him? I mean, I gave it up to someone I just met, why would I make my 'boyfriend' wait? Please help, I feel so horrible with myself. I think that staying celibate will help me regain respect with myself, but, of course, I can never forget it.
When I was 11 I was raped, got pregnant, and had a miscarriage. Now I am 14 and I compulsively have sex with guys who are older, and it's like I can't stop myself. Does this compulsiveness have anything to do with what happened to me a few years ago? I have tried to go to a therapist but my parents say that its too expensive, and they just don't care. Is there anyway that I can help myself?
I'm a fourteen year old girl turning fifteen very soon. I've always loved to flirt, and am even somewhat of a romantic. I've always believed that I should maintain abstinence, not only to respect my parents' wishes, but also to live up to their expectations. However, a few months ago, I've been touched at a school dance by an older boy. It wasn't a violating touch, it seemed like the guy just wanted to see how much I would allow. He very polite (as much as possible in this situation) about it and would stop when I made it clear I did not want to be touched in that manner. But ever since, I think I've been horny! I'm starting to rethink my values of having sex. I know that the sole reason I've believed in abstinence was reflexive to obeying my parents, because I never really thought about having sex before. But now that I have thought about it, I want to try and experiment. Of course, I don't want to jump immediately at the first chance I have, but I definitely want to try when I find someone I'm comfortable with. I'm just worried whether I'm too young, or if going against my parents' expectations is acceptable. I would prefer it if I did not have to tell my parents, because I know they will not approve of this. If I go through with having sex, is it right or are there any better alternatives?
I've never really had sexual intercourse, and hence I would say my hymen is still in tact. But the other day my partner and I had dry sex, unclothed, and he might have had his pre-cum on my vaginal area. So is there a chance I could get pregnant, even though i'm still really a virgin?
Ok I have a few questions. I’m 18 and have been with my boyfriend for about a year and have not been sexually active with him or anyone else in any way (no oral, hand jobs/fingering, or sex). I have fun making out with him, but he recently told me that he doesn’t want to make out heavily anymore because it isn’t turning him on as much anymore without the “big O at the end”. Is this normal? I sort of want to do more but feel a little uncomfortable. My bf is supportive of my limits (especially he since he didn’t lose his virginity till he was 21) and isn’t trying to force me or anything but still really wants to do more. I love him and I want to do more but am nervous. He is much older and much more experienced than I am. I have talked to him about being nervous and stuff and it has helped a little but not a lot. I have another question too: I have a LOT of clear discharge when we make out and dry hump. Is this normal? I feel nervous about letting him finger me because of this. I am also nervous about giving him a hand job and oral because I don’t know what to do after he ejaculates. It all just seems very messy. I feel like I don’t know enough about how to get into and out of the sexual situation… I feel ready but just too nervous to go on… Is there something that I can do that will make this more comfortable? What can I do? Please help!
P.S. Thank you so much. This site is amazing.