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Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models

What's a "boyfriend" or what's a "girlfriend?" It all depends on what you and yours decide it's going to mean and what works best for you.

We're abstinent, but we had anal sex and are scared to death.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are being abstinent until marriage. We only had sex once, we aren't doing it again and want to be renewed as being abstinent, and we are doing that with my cousin and her bf, because they quit after doing it for months, too.

There was only one incident that happened, that scares us both to death. I would never let him in my vagina because that would just ruin our relationship. We had anal sex. I was sitting on top of him, and the he pre-cummed in his pants. He wanted to just stick his penis in my butt, not my vagina, so he did and it hurt soooo badly. He said he cummed while I was on top. I'm not sure if he wasn't in my vagina, though, because I had a tampon in and when I went to the bathroom after all of this happened, I found the tampon all moved up inside my vagina. Then he cummed and took it out, and we stopped, and we both laid next to each other and he stuck his penis back in my butt again. He used lotion so it wouldn't hurt as bad, and it didn't go in far. After the second time lasted for a minute or two, we stopped and decided we should never do it again, because we weren't like that, being all "sexual." That happened on April 19, and it is April 29. We are both scared that I may be pregnant. I never eat a lot, but now I crave food a little more. We are just so scared to death. I never lost my virginity. I was just wondering if the second time he cummed, if it was in my real butt or not, because it felt different from a different position. I want to know if there is any risk at all that I might be pregnant. My period was the 16th-19th, and I really don't want to wait that long to see if I am or not, but I live with my nana and her new abusive husband would kick me out if I even had a pregnancy test so there is not really a good way to do that. I would just like to know all the information, if we should be worried or not, and anything you can tell us. Thank you so much!

What's rape got to do with it?

Why does a sex-positive sexuality site like this one talk about rape and abuse so often?

We should all know by now that rape and sex are not the same thing, after all. And yet, over the years at Scarleteen, we've answered a lot of questions about rape and abuse, supported a lot of abuse and rape victims and survivors, and we've got content about both housed on a site which is primarily about sexuality, sexual health and relationships.

One big reason is that an awful lot of us in the world -- and at this site -- are rape and abuse survivors, or people trying to get free of abuse. While our rapes or assaults certainly are or were not sex for us, they often impact our sexuality and our sex lives a whole lot. Sexuality doesn't exist in a vacuum: it's made up of all of who we are, and greatly influenced by the whole of our life experiences. In so many ways, rape and sexual assault can really hijack our sexuality, due to body memories -- the places we were assaulted tend to trigger painful

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Are we really too young for unprotected sex?

maliburocker asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 months and everyone tells me that we should not be having sex! Especially unprotected! Am I really too young to be having sex and unprotected at that? (I'm 16 years old.)

Was what we did a sex act?

lolo18 asks:

I'm a 14 year old girl and I hang out with my neighbor a lot (he's a guy) and one day we were at his house in the pool and we accidentally "rubbed" our bodies together and he got an erection. Was what we did a sex act? We still hang out and stuff but it hasn't been we kinda have that sexual tension between us now.

I'm shy, and I'm worried he'll leave me because of it.

kriba123 asks:

Hey, I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been dating for around 5 months now and I'm really afraid I'm going to lose him. He has been trying to finger me lately and right before I reach my climax I chicken out and tell him to stop. I think it's just because I'm really self conscious and scared of what he'll think of me. I also don't want him to see me naked cause I'm very shy and just scared about what he'll think. I've told him this time and time again but he keeps giving me lectures that I need to grow up. I'm really afraid he's going to dump me! I really care about him and I just need help on what to do. How can I be less self conscious about myself?

My boyfriend isn't ready, but he said I could have sex with my ex. Should I?

Nikki asks:

I really want to have sex. But, my boyfriend isn't ready and he said I could have sex with my ex who left me because I wasn't ready. I need to know if i should or not?

Is it okay for a man to finger you?

jessica asks:

Is it okay for a man to finger you?

He was going to pull out...but he didn't, and I feel bad taking Plan B.

Stacey asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 months and we just started having sex. He was my first and I am completely in love with him. We've been protected for 4 of the times with a condom, but tonight we didn't use one. He was about to pull out right before, but he came. I'm really scared that I could become pregnant and I know that one of my friends has the "morning after" pill, but I feel bad taking it. I am so worried and confused. HELP ME!

"Pimp" Your Life!

Dear fellow Scarleteeners!

I am excited and enthused to present to you To Be... AWESOME or Just Be –– Tips on Making the Most of Your Life Right Now! This article, currently found in the TAKE TWO! Relationships section, seeks to provide motivation as well as encourage perspiration when it comes to changing your life to be the way you wish it were– while reminding you not to forget to stop and smell the roses in your current situation.

Read more...

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